What we need....

I have been following MORE THAN A MINIVAN MOM'S blog for years now. I recently went through (as a reader) the pain, humiliation, frustration, saddness, anger and hurt....dear God, the hurt....she has endured over finding out her husband (who was nicknamed "the saint" no less) admitted to cheating - TWICE - and then divorced her to be with her (ex) best friend. Sigh. This stuff really does happen.

Her latest post is uplifting though.

As the saying goes, God never closes one door without opening a new one.

Sounds like God has sent her an angel.

Someone that appreciates, honors, respects, and loves her.

Someone that finds her attractive (let's just say things are okay in the bedroom) and desirable.

Someone that cheks in with her, not in a co-dependent sort-of-way - but in a respectful, "I know you've been hurt and your trust has been shattered and you need this assurance from me-sort-of-way."

He loves her three children and they love him.

He helps her around the house.

He is a good man.

It's ironic because I use to sympothize with her ex husband. There were times she would blog and talk down about him and pretty much - make fun of his manhood. Ouch. I felt his pain.

What I didn't know - then - was that it was because he was distant, unaffectionate, cold, manipulative and pretty much didn't appreciate her 1%.

Ah. It all makes sense now.

Now I sympothize with her.

As a woman who lost her best friend to her cheating husband.

As a woman who had her heart broken by a man she trusted 100%.

As a woman who has the weight of the world on her shoulders running a house with 3 kids and a full time job.

As a woman void of affection, attention and.........love........for so long.

I recently learned on an episode of "Addicted to Food" on the OWN Network that a woman (gay or straight) needs to hear two things in her life.....from her dad or primary caretaker....

1.) I love you

2.) You are beautiful

Seems this spills over into marriages and relationships too.

Isn't that what we all want?

Isn't that what we all seek?

It is as much a human need as the air we breath, the food we eat and the water we drink.

We need love, affection, attention....

We need to feel important.

Like we matter in someone's life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah ----- I get the bullshit about mattering in your OWN life.....got it, thanks. Check mark.

But we all want that from someone else.

Hell, we NEED it.

I know I do.

What is life without love?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.