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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

You Can't Fake Chemistry


I've been reading a lot of Facebook status updates about being in love and chemistry and you can hear almost that ache, that unbelievable ache of love. THAT type love that is undeniably mutual.

Undeniably mutual love and chemistry is the best feeling in the world and is an absolute must to have a long term, sustainable relationship. It is in the way the person looks, smiles and touches you. It is in the tone of their voice when they speak to you. The way they act around you. The way they try to impress you. The way your response speaks and matters to them.

This is a topic I could write infinitely on and something I will always feel strong about.

They is no greater "drug", energy boost, motivator, source of happiness than when you have found mutual love and chemistry with someone. Romance and friendship mixed into one.

I saw this photo and it just spoke to me. More like, screamed to me...lol. It is absolutely beautiful.

You can tell when someone looks at you and is attracted to you so much it is impossible to almost express. You can tell when a person kisses you that they are trying to make you feel their love.

If you have never experienced this, than you are missing out.

Someone on Facebook recently posted:


"I JUST HAVE ONE THING TO SAY: EVER KISS SOMEONE SO HARD....NO, NOT HARD, BUT INTENSE....ELECTRIC. EVER KISS SOMEONE SO ELECTRIC, YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR SKIN PEELS OFF AND FLOATS AWAY? AND THEN YOU LOOK INTO HER EYES AND YOU CAN SEE EVERY THOUGHT YOU EVER HAD LOOKING BACK AT YOU?

YEPPPP. MY LIFE IS AS WONDERFUL AS IT APPEARS TO BE ON FACEBOOK. =D"


One of my favorite quotes will forever be: "The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

Go be romantic, everyone.....git.....go on now....xo.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

How are you?

So this morning I woke up with THIS on my mind....

I once told someone very special that even though things may APPEAR to be okay on the outside, things could be completely different on the inside. The only way to know is to ask. I mean, really ask.

How many times have we approached someone we KNOW is not doing well, only to receive the "I'm fine" response? Listen to your gut. Never give up on someone.

Never judge a book by its cover is so true.

Who appears to be so happy can be so broken and who appears to be broken could be the strongest person you ever met.

So many opportunities in life are passed by by simply not ASKING the questions we long to know the answers to....in the right way.

Learn to know the difference between "I'm fine!" and "I'm TRULY fine."

Read the messages BETWEEN the words.

Trust your gut.

Trust your intuition.

Never give up on someone. Never.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Lez Be Honest - Take 3!

I haven't written about the Femme Tomboy thing in awhile, so figured I'd share some random thoughts. Speaking of which, this blog can now be accessed by simply typing: http://www.femmetomboy.com/. Yay! :D



 I've been thinking about my identity as a femme tomboy. I know I have posted things in the past about more of my feminine traits (I like to decorate, cook, shop, am very emotional etc.,) but now let's focus on more of the masculine parts that define my identity and what I am attracted to.
For as feminine a tomboy as I am, I am still very much in touch with the BOY part of that word.

Makeup, fancy shoes, lingerie and crossing of the legs still make me week in the knees.

 I love the girly side of a girl because even though I am emotionally feminine I just don't have "those ways" that most women have. Make sense? The whole crossing of the legs, wearing hair longer, putting makeup on a regular basis, being able to wear a dress or skirt or feminine lingerie. Just having that NATURAL feminine way.


The tomBOY in me seeks out these qualities in my partner. NOT that my partner isn't as sexy in ripped jeans and a sweatshirt. God, no. It's just what I find attractive and a turn on.
Then again a simple look in the eyes is a turn on to me too! ;)
My point? I am very much in touch with the "boy" part of my personality and love when that part connects with the "girl" part of my partner's personality. I use words like "boy" and "girl" because they sound softer.




Now here is the thing. Really ask yourself -- what are YOU TRULY attracted to?


For the purpose of this blog I will use women references.


Are you attracted to longer hair on a woman?


Are you attracted to makeup on a woman?


Are you attracted to jewelry on a woman?


Are you attracted to perfume on a woman?


Think of your celebrity crushes. Truly think about it.


Are you more attracted to someone like "Ty" from the group Girlyman or someone like (because my fiance is a fan and I can't think of anyone else) Gillian Anderson from X-Files?


Are you more a Xena Worrier Princess lover or Ellen Degeneres?



 
Seriously. Stop and think about it. This is your life. You need to know these things.


Blond hair? Brown hair?


Blue eyes? Brown eyes?


When you see (or have seen) a person you are attracted to in your life what "stereotype" do they fall under? Don't say, "I don't have one" -- because we all do.


Think about the person you have been most attracted to in your life.


What was it about them that attracted you?

 What was it about their appearance? Personality?



 
Who turned you on the most? REALLY TURNED YOU ON???


Who fit that part of your "chemical sexual" self best?


Be honest. Don't lie.....especially not to yourself.


I was in several relationships before I found a person that "I" was truly their type, as they were mine and the chemistry was off the charts.


There is NO denying the chemistry when type A.) meets type B.) and the two mesh to = type C.)


Whatever that means!? LOL!?!


Even now, with my fiance, I feel that I am her type, as she is mine, and I don't think we'd be where we are today if she wasn't.


I feel VERY STRONGLY about this.



Having been on both sides of the fence (friendship love and romantic love), I know I NEVER, EVER want to go back to just a friendship love.

I want my partner to love, truly LOVE and be turned on by and attracted to my "boyish ways" as I am to her "girlish ways".......not because "I" like certain things but because we both equally like certain things, if that make sense. If someone does something for someone even if they aren't a fan of it, the other person will pick up on it and the truth will come out in the end, as it always does. It is so much better to be open and honest up front.


I don't want to be with someone that looks at Kate Winslet and gets aroused or Madonna (sorry, these are all that are coming to my mind...lol). I want to be with someone that looks at someone like Ty, Ellen or Amy Ray and gets weak in the knees (again, sorry, can't think of any good tomboy lesbians).


I wish I could go up to every couple and ask: "What is it that truly, TRULY turns you on about the other person?" ---- and if there is a lull or some random generic answer ---- I'd look at the other person and say, "Dude, this isn't the one for you."


So many people confuse lust for love or friendship for love because we are all so afraid of being alone.


I see so many unhappy couples who waste years of their lives with someone only to be left in the long run because there was "something lacking."


Sigh.


Don't let that happen to you.


Find the one that makes your heart beat out of its chest, your mouth go dry, your sexual energy skyrocket AND treats you right, respects you, makes you laugh and is your # 1 fan.


Even though Jen has only been in my life 6 months, I feel I have found all this with her, that is why I asked her to be my wife.


And if you are reading this and have a partner that truly (again, TRULY) isn't your type.....stop playing with their emotions. Stop lying to them. Stop lying to yourself. Life is precious and way too short for something like that.



Find THE ONE meant for you.


However long it takes.


That is all! :-)

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Friday, March 16, 2012

ROFL, LOL and LMAO!!!













Happy Birthday Gay Travel Information!

Happy Birthday Gay Travel Information!


I started Gay Travel Information (http://www.gaytravelinformation.com/) one year ago. My first review was March 16, 2011 at Hotel Providence.


Reflecting on this past year I am absolutely amazed at the opportunities http://www.gaytravelinformation.com/ has provided me.



As the owner of Out & About Travel (http://www.gaytravelpros.com/) I decided to start Gay Travel Information as a way to review gay & lesbian friendly accommodations. My hotel reviews suddenly expanded to include restaurants, special events, theatre and businesses. As of today I have done close to 100 reviews!



People ask how I get such amazing opportunities and say things like "sign me up", the thing is, it has been a long hard road to get to where I am! :-)



I started Out & About Travel in 1999 at the age of 23. I was in debt. Had no extra cash for advertising and very little computer experience. What I DID have was genuine love, passion and drive for all things TRAVEL related. I had worked at several travel agencies including a very well respected gay travel agency in Boston, MA called Urban Travel. These jobs provided me with fantastic experience.



It was in early 1999 when I had mentioned to my boss, Ed, that I wanted to open my own agency someday. I can still see his smug smile and hear his laugh as he called out to the man in the room next to us. Mocking me he said, "John, she wants to start her OWN business!" He rolled his eyes and shook his head. I remember my blood boiling and, after a very honest letter to Ed about what I though of him, I quit the next day! ;)






This was in April 1999. Out & About Travel was born in August 1999. I will be celebrating 13 years as (cough cough) OWNER this August.

"I" am Out & About Travel. I design it's web sites (http://www.gaytravelpros.com/, http://www.gayskiweeks.com/, http://www.gayskitrips.com/, http://www.gaytravelinformation.com/ and http://www.wearegayfriendly.com/), I price out client travel requests, I send out email blasts, I handle the budgiting and scheduling of tasks.....pretty much anything you can think of.

Out & About Travel has survived 9/11. Out & About Travel has survived the creations of Orbitz, Travelocity and Expedia and Out & About Travel has survived the recession.



We have clients from around the world. Our web site, http://www.gaytravelpros.com/, receives over 1 million unique hits per year and we have top placement on google for man search terms such as: gay travel agency and gay travel agent --- free of charge, totally organic, from years of hard work.

This is the only reason I was able to start Gay Travel Information and set up the reviews I have been so blessed with to receive. Out & About Travel is a respected, well recognized name.


When I contact a business to do a review, they are (usually) quite honored to have Out & About Travel spotlight them.

It is truly humbling.



With travel getting more and more difficult to book due to people "shopping online" and booking direct with tour companies (which, by the way, OUCH......stop that....lol....be kind to us travel agents.....especially those like myself who don't charge a service fee and have a price match guarantee....no reason to book direct), I am grateful to the start of this 2nd business!

 
Gay Travel Information is still at it's beginning stages. I am excited to think what this year and years to come will have in store.


Here is a listing (no particular order) of reviews I have done this year:



  • Hotel du Glace (The Ice Hotel) - Quebec, Canada -- Got engaged here! ;)

  • The Salem Cross Inn Restaurant & Tavern - West Brookfield, MA (Getting married here!!)

  • Mill's Tavern - Providence, RI

  • XV Beacon - Boston, MA

  • The Francis Malbone House - Newport, RI

  • Green Land Cafe - Salem, MA

  • Not Your Average Joe's - Seekonk, MA

  • Lola's Tequila Bar & Cantina - Providence, RI

  • Whisky Republic - Providence, RI

  • L' Hotel du Capitole - Quebec City, Quebec - Canada

  • Chateau Frontenac - Quebec City, Quebec - Canada

  • Cook & Brown Public House - Providence, RI

  • Capt's Waterfront Steakhouse & Seafood Grill - Salem, MA

  • Cote' Nord - Mont Tremblant, Quebec - Canada

  • Creperie Catherine - Mont Tremblant, Quebec - Canada

  • Mont Tremblant Ziplining Adventure - Quebec - Canada

  • Blood Rose Rising (play) - Sommerville, MA

  • NYLO Hotel - Warwick, RI

  • Gabriel's - Provincetown, MA

  • The Kearsarge Inn - North Conway, NH

  • Gas Lamp Grille - Newport, RI

  • Darryl's Corner Bar & Kitchen - Boston, MA

  • Stoddard's Fine Food & Spirits - Boston, MA

  • Inn at St. Botolph - Boston, MA

  • The Atlantic Grille - Martha's Vineyard

  • Smoke'N'Bones BBQ - Martha's Vineyard

  • George's of Galilee - Galilee, RI

  • Julian's - Providence, RI

  • Yard House - Dedham, MA

  • Jasper White's Summer Shack - Dedham, MA

  • Melting Pot - Providence, RI

  • Camden Harbor Inn - Camden, ME

  • Spruce Point Inn - Bar Harbor, ME

  • Paragon - Providence, RI

  • Victoria Station - Salem, MA

  • Winter Rendezvous / Stowe Gay Ski Week - Stowe, VT

  • Stoweflake Resort & Spa - Stowe, VT

  • Caffe Dolce Vita - Providence, RI

  • Dolce Villa - Providence, RI

  • Smoke Lounge - Providence, RI

  • Jillian's / Lucky Strike Lanes - Boston, MA

  • Spooky World's Fear at Fenway - Boston, MA

  • Field of Screams - West Greenwich, RI

  • King's Bowling, Lounge & Sports Bar - Dedham, MA

  • Kiwassa Lake B&B - Saranac Lake, NY

  • Tail O' The Pup BBQ - Ray Brook, NY

  • Church Landing at Mills Falls - Meredeth, NH

  • Lago Restaurant - Meredeth, NH

  • The Common Man Inn & Spa - Plymouth, NH

  • The Boiler Room Restaurant - Plymouth, NH

  • Mediterraneo Caffe - Providence, RI

  • Amici Bar & Grille - Providence, RI

  • The Paddock Restaurant - Hyannis, MA

  • Harbor Village - Hyannis, MA

  • Harbor Front Resort - Martha's Vineyard

  • Legal C Bar - Dedham, MA

  • Meeting Street Cafe - Providence, RI

  • The Friendly Toast - Boston, MA

  • Downcity - Providence, RI

  • LJ's BBQ - Pawtucket, RI

  • Beaconlight Guesthouse - Provincetown, MA

  • Ciro & Sal's Italian Restaurant - Provincetown, MA

  • The Sunnyside Daytime Dining - Warren, RI

  • Piecasso Pizzeria & Lounge - Stowe, VT

  • Stowe Cabins in the Woods - Stowe, VT

  • Cider House BBQ & Pub - Waterbury, VT

  • The Salem Inn - Salem, MA

  • Liberty Elm Diner - Providence, RI

  • Ale House Inn - Portsmouth, NH

  • The Friendly Toast - Portsmouth, NH

  • Hotel Providence - Providence, RI

  • Pane E Vino - Providence, RI
To say I am proud of this accomplishment is an understatement.



To say I am excited about future possibilities is an understatement.



To say I am grateful to have a partner that appreciates these adventures as much as I do is an understatement.



I love being able to share reviews with the public and appreciate any feedback I receive. It is truly about finding gay friendly places that the LGBT community will feel comfortable visiting.


I love my job.

I love my life.



Thursday, March 15, 2012

Determination pays off

 


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I'm this post's # 1 fan! I love it so much!

Romance is so important. I'm not just talking lust and sexual chemistry, I mean good old fashioned romance.

The natural desire to express your love because your heart is bursting with emotions. The whole not being able to tell your partner enough....how much you love them.

Romance is a look in the eyes. A declaration of love for all to know. Shouting it from the "rooftop" or at least on Facebook! ;)

Being your partner's #1 fan. Feeling pride that they are yours.

Complimenting them even if they aren't perfect at something.


Knowing them well enough to know what not to say because you'd never want to hurt their feelings.

Love and romance means looking at your partner and feeling like they are the most attractive person, flaws and all.


Loving the things in them they may feel self conscious about.


Finding beauty in that which they may dislike about themselves.


True love, passion, romance is as natural as breathing. Keeping your hands off each other becomes an impossibility. You study each other's face and learn each other's body.


Your heart skips a beat when they walk in a room and you feel a loss when they aren't with you.


True love means a healthy dose of jealousy. Making each other feel desired, valued, needed. Letting them not only know but feel your passion for them. Voicing these feelings. Stroking their ego.


True love and romance is about balance. Complimenting each other's differences.


Not taking each other for granted.


True love, passion, chemistry, romance should never fade....just grow stronger. Although a solid friendship is needed, it should never lose its "romantic" aspect.


You can read the kind of love someone has for you in their eyes....their smile. You can tell (and feel) when someone looks at you with passion in their eyes.

Its nice to be "cute" but passion means being "hot" to someone.

You can feel it throughout your body when someone desires you and finds you "hot" and "sexy".


Yes, romance, when in real love, should be as natural as breathing.

Once you taste this kind of love and passion, it is impossible to settle for anything less.

And remember, it is a two way street and only works when everything lines up equally.

We all want to be gazed at, gushed over, flirted with, and desired by the person we love (and do the same to them).

Yes, this need is indeed as natural as breathing.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Letter to my Ex

You have been on my mind a lot lately. It is as simple or as complicated as that.

It has been almost a year since you broke my heart but I am at a place, and have been for quite some time, of forgiveness toward you. I don't, nor will I ever, hate you. I just can't. I saw parts of you that maybe no one else ever will. I don't know. Through all the ups and downs I remember the good times. The laughter. The silliness. Encouragement. Ego boosts. Compliments. I know what we had was real. It was love. For whatever reason you were not happy and wanted to move on, away from me and my family. I don't think I will ever understand the why, but I respect it. Everyone has the right to be happy. If that is what it took for you to be happy, than I accept it. The universe seems to have had other things in store for me as well.

I have never experienced a breakup like this before. The loss of someone I truly loved in every sense. It hurt and at times, it still hurts. I have learned to let go of the pain that caused so many uncalled for arguments and stupid disagreements. What I will never let go of is the happiness our relationship brought me. The confidence you brought to me and hopefully I to you. I remember you saying how you felt motivated around me, well, I felt the same way around you - just so you know.

This is the hardest situation I have ever been faced with. Such confusion. Such pain. Those emotions far exceed the anger. Maybe friends and family will never understand that, but it's the truth. I have always been concerned about your well being. I will always be concerned about your well being. My concern and care will never disappear. If it did how could I say I was ever in love with you? All I want is for you to find health, emotionally/physically --- and pure joy, happiness and contentment. I want you to be treated beautifully, like I am being treated.

Never think for one moment I hate you or that I would never forgive you, because I would never think or feel those things. Maybe it would be easier if I did, but I can't and I won't. I try and make sense of things that happened, especially things this summer, but then I stop.......and I realize as long as I know the truth, that is all that matters and deep down inside, I know you know the truth too.

Life is just so weird, isn't it? We don't ask for the issues we are dealt with....we just try and survive them, any way we know how. I hope you find the peace and healing you deserve and realize that I was never your enemy and would never be, because I have found peace and healing.

I don't know. I just felt the need to write this. I have contacts with all my ex's except you and maybe that is because it is easy to be in touch with them because the debt of what I had with them will never match the debt of what you and I had. Maybe it just is and will always be too painful to be friends.

I hope life is being kind to you.

Friday, March 9, 2012

It's Official...

So it is official. We will be getting married at Salem Cross Inn in West Brookfield, MA on the evening of December 30, 2012.

This is the room called 'The Barn'.....so gorgeous.