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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Happy Couple

Currently I am listening to my amazing neighbors upstairs sing to their 1+ year old baby who is crying relentlessly. Maybe it is because they are singing? ;) Just kidding. I love my neighbors. They are Mormon so I am not sure if they love me as much as I do them, but, nonetheless, they are amazing, respectful people who I feel lucky to "live under".



I have been observing this family for well over a year now. The husband is a lawyer. He leaves the house by 8am Monday-Friday and is usually home by 5/6pm. Their 3 year old runs to the door, jumping up and down, screaming "daddy! daddy! daddy!" --- I hear him say, "Hi buddy!" During the warmer months he plays in the yard with his son, baby in one of those front backpack thingies (so cute), still in his work clothes. They return upstairs soon after for dinner and then head back to the yard, this time he is in more casual wear. I hear him tell his wife and kids he loves them every day as he walks out the door. I have heard him tell his 3 year old son to pick flowers for his mom or to say he loves her etc.,



I have heard the wife compliment him saying how handsome he looks. I have seen her give him kisses. I have heard her say how happy she is that he is home. I have heard her yell out the window as he is parking his car that she made his favorite dinner.





There is no doubt this couple loves and respects each other. Btw, both of their children were adopted. I am assuming one of them is unable to have children. This obviously hasn't been a problem at all.



The wife, a stay at home mom, is incredible. She is with those kids, usually alone, from early in the morning until her husband gets home at night. I hear her playing with them, reading to them, singing to them. I hear her head out and arrive back home from errands. There is always an amazing aroma in the hallway during dinner time.


Its quite beautiful. I like to think they are truly an "All American" happy, healthy family. True I don't know what goes on behind closed doors, but this is what I would like to believe. What I have witnessed leads me to this assumption.



Why am I writing this?

Because I love witnessing healthy, happy relationships. All too often we witness the opposite. People who take their partners for granted. People who disrespect their partners. Fighting. Cheating. Lying. This is as ugly as my neighbors upstairs are beautiful.


I cannot picture the woman telling her husband to "fuck off" or that she "hates him".

I cannot picture the man telling his wife how "hot or cute" some woman on TV is or that he will be attending some major event without her.

 
I cannot picture the woman telling her husband that "his opinion means nothing to her" or hearing him compare her to someone else's wife.


I cannot picture her belittling his "manhood" or him making her feel any less of a woman because she may be in sweat pants and have messy hair when he comes home.


Think about it.


How do YOU treat YOUR partner?

Do you build him/her up and make him/her feel valued and appreciated or do you make them feel small, unappreciated, unattractive and always compare them to someone or something else?

Do you build up your partner's ego or knock it down?





Are you your partner's #1 fan or their worst enemy?



Do you secretly try to sabotage their happiness or do everything in your power to make them shine?


Do you pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth and think how they could make your partner feel or do you purposely say things that could hurt your partner?

 
The golden rule of "do unto others as you would have done to you" is so very true.

That is why so many relationships end.

 
Even the kindest, most loving, patient of people have their breaking point.

How many times do you think you could come home late, forget to tell your wife how pretty she is, or your husband how proud of him you are? How many times do you think you can get away commenting on the attractiveness of other women or men before your partner has enough and looks elsewhere for attention?

Then we scratch our heads and wonder why the relationship ended.
 I have no doubt that the couple that lives above me will defy the odds and stay married forever.

They are doing everything right. I have not heard one loud argument since living here. Do they have disagreements and fights? I am sure. How boring if they didn't. But I am pretty sure they do it in a respectful adult-like way.

 
When my neighbor comes home from work his complete attention goes to his wife and kids.

When my neighbor's husband walks through that door --- you can hear the joy, laughter (noise - lol) of the complete joy of his arrival.



Gay or straight......this is the formula for a healthy, happy relationship.

Respect, trust, kindness, laughter........making each other feel like "kings and queens" or "queens and queens" / "kings and kings" - lol.


It's all very simple.

Really.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Riot Grrrl: I should be writing, right?

My girlfriend's latest Blog!

Riot Grrrl: I should be writing, right?: So, I am stealing the title of my girlfriend’s most recent blog because it holds true for me, too. I am sure it holds true for many of yo...

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I should be writing, right?

Writing! Writing! Writing!

I have so much writing I want to do. Both for work and personal.

I need to catch up on reviews from this summer/fall for www.gaytravelinformation.com.

Reviews for such places as: Harbor Inn on Martha's Vineyard, Spruce Point Inn-Boothbay Harbor, Maine, Le Capitole - Quebec City, Fairmont Chateau Frontenac - Quebec City. A review on 'Winter Rendezvous Stowe, VT gay ski week'.....numerous restaurant reviews....ahhh!! All so overwhelming, but exciting.

I still can't believe the opportunities www.gaytravelinformation.com has provided me since March 2011! It just keeps getting better and better. Everything from concert, restaurants, hotels, haunted inns, special events etc., -- I am so blessed when it comes to this and so happy to have someone in my life who enjoys it as much as I do!

I can't believe I am going to be staying at The Ice Hotel in Quebec City next month! AN ICE HOTEL!!!!! Holy crap. Not only is this exciting, but the fact that we will be there during Quebec's famous Winter Carnival! Oh, and the weekend before Valentine's Day. Wow.

Everytime I feel stressed about selling travel or ads for www.gaytravelinformation.com, I have to remind myself of all these amazing perks work provides me with. The presitge Out & About Travel has gained which affords me these opportunities.

There is just so much to write about.....

Jen and I are planning a 2+ week road trip right around my birthday cross country! Her first time! How exciting is that?

I could write about how much I love going dancing lately.

I could write about how much I love playing pool.

I could write about how excited I am about our Super Bowl party and the fact that The Patriots are in it!!

I could write about all the exciting things I have up my sleeve next month! ;) (hehehehe)

I could write about the terrible food poisonig incident Jen had from Toby Keith's restaurant.

I could write about how much fun we are having watching the 'Dawnson's Creek' series DVD set that Jen bought.

I could write about the Prom Party we have planned for May.

I could write about how I re-connected with my first girlfriend from high school, Tennille, on Facebook and how wonderful that has been.

I could write about how big my niece Angel is getting and how well she talks and carries on conversations now!

I could write about all my exciting plans for Out & About Travel and Gay Travel Information.

I spend the day writing.

Whether it be to update my web site, work on my blog, email clients back, play on Facebook, Tweet, write personal blogs, reviews etc., ---

I write, write and write some more.

It's all about expression.

I am sure one day soon I will sit and write about all of the events that have been going on in my life.

Until then, I will just say that.....

I am happy and so very blessed.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Now.....



Friday, January 13, 2012

What's On My Mind



Sometimes I wish I could write a blog post that really resonates with someone. Whether it be the shy tomboy, or the beautiful woman who thinks she is too "fat", or the person afraid to follow their dreams. I wish I could write the words to make people realize how beautiful and special they are. How money isn't everything. How people really do forgive. How true love never dies. How everything happens for a reason. How the pain you may be feeling this very moment will someday be replaced with joy.....and vice versa. How to appreciate the people in your life each second because you never know when you won't have them any longer. I wish I could say something that would resonate with people to be kinder to their pets and pets in general. To not abuse an innocent child.....or anyone. That the cruel words that slip from your mouth hurt more than any type bruise. That the voice inside your head telling you that you aren't "good enough" or "smart enough" or "attractive enough" is false.....especially to the person who will meet and fall in love with you. That we all make mistakes and sincere apologies always have positive results. I wish I could wrap my arms around someone crying right now and say the right words to make them laugh. I wish someone was wrapping their arms around me right now and making me laugh. I wish I could look into the eyes of people I loved and have lost one more time and have my actions speak louder than words. Yes. I wish there was something I could write to make people...."get it". That we have the power to push people closer to us........or further. Each choice we make, each second of the day, goes into our "pot of life" and has repercussions. That it is very easy to change the intensity of love. The intensity of friendship. The intensity of a family bond. Our actions either pull us closer or push us further. Problem is many people don't stop and think before they act. We fail to stop and think before we speak.








I wish there was a way to make people realize how each second counts. Each action counts. How do you choose to live your seconds? Pulling people toward you or pushing them away?






Life changes second to second......if your lucky, for the better.






Then people always act dumfounded when things change for the worse, when, we, in our own way...created that reality.










If how you have been doing things hasn't worked in the past? Why repeat these things?






Change.






Its possible.






Pull people toward you. Think before you act or speak.






It will make a difference in your life.






In your life pattern.






I wish there was a way to help people have......no regrets.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Something Exciting is Brewing....


So I am up to "no good", oops, I mean GOOD right now! ;-) VERY GOOD.

I have a surprise planned that will shock the socks off of a footless person!?!?

No one has been able to figure out what I have "up my sleeve" ...and even if they did, I won't break! lol!

All I can say is that it is a very good and exciting thing. A ballsy thing and something people may not ever thought I'd be "brave" enough to do.

2012 is all about leaping into life and eliminating fear (to the best of someone's ability).  

CLUES:

  • Tiger
  • Hand warmer
  • Stop & Shop
  • Donna Ricci-Etchells
  • Holidays
  • Buzz Lightyear
  • New Balance Shoes
  • Adivan
  • Train
  • Jimmy Buffett
  • Jambalaya
  • Fuck
  • Sue Ellen (from TV show "Dallas")
  • Woody
  • Mechanical Bull
  • Pelican
  • Sunset
  • Nighttime
  • Lesbians
  • Immodium
  • Mullets
  • April Swartz
  • 2012
  • Handbags
  • Providence
  • Rock Band
  • White
  • Key West
  • Orb
  • Frostbite
  • Hot
  • Heat
  • A/C
  • Straight Face
  • Laughter
  • Ruby Slippers
  • April Fools Day
  • :-P
It's going to be an amazing year.....just wait and see!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Healthy Jealousy Exists!

Jealousy



Jealousy is usally associated with something negative. Rightfully so because most times it is.


To be envious or enraged over something or someone is a scary emotion especially if you are the object of such envy and rage.


But, small doses of jealousy can also be......sexy.


I have never been a jealous person as far as materialistic items go.


I have always trusted my partners.


I never look at someone and feel anger for their good fortune.


In relationships I know what it is like to be with a partner that points out people looking at you with almost a proud smile and pat on the back to being in a relationship where my partner threatened physical harm (usually in a joking/silly manor) on anyone that slightly came across as flirtatious.


Both of these are wrong and unhealthy, but somewhere in between is something VERY healthy and, in my opinion, needed in a sustaining relationship.


There have been several times in my life where I have been courted or was the object of someone's "crush". Even if the feelings weren't reciprocated on my part, it sure felt GOOD knowing someone was attracted to me both on the inside and out. Male and female and I, like everyone else, have also had my fair share of crushes. Some reciprocated and some not.


When you are in a relationship with someone where there is mutual attraction and chemistry it is the best feeling in the world. What could be better than knowing someone desires you and feels grateful to have you in their life?


All too often, as the years go by, and the relationship loses it's "newness" we start to take each other for granted. We think, "They'll never leave me." -- blah, blah, blah. When this happens the romance dies, sex often disappears and once "hot" lovers turn into best friends or worse.....siblings (yuck).


Don't get me wrong! There is something extremely beautiful about familiarity and reaching that comfort point with your partner where you know you are loved and accepted regardless of, well, anything.


HOWEVER.....


It is also during this transition when people start "getting the itch" and "wandering eye". Why? Because they are no longer getting the attention from their partner they once were.


Some people are okay with the monotony and almost prefer it, I, however, and many others....am not.


There is a quote I can't quite remember but it is along the lines of:


"Find the person who is afraid of losing you and reminds you how lucky they are to have you each day."



This doesn't mean, LIVING IN FEAR YOUR PARTNER IS GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU (double yuck), this means having someone who never takes you for granted and helps "keep the fire burning."


How does this happen?


Mostly with TRUST, of course and.......a healthy dose of jealousy, which, if expressed correctly can be quite sexy.


When I say a healthy dose of jealousy can be healthy I do NOT mean:



* Jealous of one's friends.






* Jealous of one's job.






* Jealous of one's relationship with their parents.






* Jealous of one's achievements.






* Jealous of one's appearance.






....NOTHING like that.


What I DO mean is:





* A sense of that person "belonging" to you (i.e. "my ____insert partner's name here____") -- Feeling like that person is "all yours" can be quite sexy.


* Sensing the other person's need for attention and always meeting that need --- can be sexy.


* Knowing that regardless of any sort of advances by strangers that the person is completely faithful and "yours".......is sexy.


* Knowing that your partner desires you and finds you attractive and appreciates what they have and vice versa....is sexy.



* Knowing that you are your partner's type and vice versa and reminding them of this -- is sexy.





Do you follow me? :)



We all want to feel "claimed" in a sense. We are want to "mark our territory". It is our primal instinct and that rush of knowing something I have claimed feels the same toward me is quite the turn on.


When I feel like I am not the object of desire --- it is a turn off. Not that I need 24/7 attention, but in a relationship, for the chemistry to last, you need a never ending supply of "ego booster" from your partner, at least I do, If I am being honest here.






There is no bigger turn off than fawning over someone else.






There is no bigger turn off than ignoring me.






There is no bigger turn off than not expressing your emotions to me.






There is no bigger turn off than acting as if "nothing bothers you" as far as other people go.






I need the fire, the passion, the desire, that excitement.






I've had healthy doses of "jealousy" in previous relationships and it did wonders for the chemistry and physical aspect but jealousy has a FINE LINE that must never be crossed. The second "healthy jealousy" turns to "envy and rage".......well.......game over.






Think of it this way.....






Every "wife" still wants to know her "husband" finds her attractive and not the "bimbo" on TV -- UNLESS the "husband" points out something in this "bimbo" that reminds him of his "wife" ----- then the "wife" might look at the "bimbo" differently --- hence, a little "spice" added to the marriage. Maybe the woman on TV looks like the "man's wife" but is wearing something a bit more risque. That could be the "husband's" way of hinting to his wife, "honey, you would look good in that" ------ Just making a point here.

THE HEALTHY THING TO SAY WOULD BE:


"See that woman on TV? You remind me of her. You would look even more beautiful in that outfit than she does."


That would be the CORRECT way to get your point accross.


BAD WAY: "Damn, that woman is hot. Wish you would wear something like that for me!"






YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Unless you are comparing someone to your partner, keep your goddamn mouth shut! ;)






Do you think your husband wants to hear how "hot" you find Brad Pitt? Especially if he has a beer gut, gray hair and is balding?????






Shutty the mouthy.






STROKE YOUR PARTNER'S EGO and I assure you, your relationship will not only last but keep its FIRE and passion.






We all want to be reminded that we are coveted!!






We all want to be reminded that we are VALUED, APPRECIATED, RESPECTED -- DESIRED.






If YOU don't provide this to your partner than that means:






A.) You really don't care if they cheat on you, lead a double life or will eventually file for divorce.


B.) You yourself are over the relationship completely and ready to move on.






It is human nature to seek out what we need for survival.






For me? Love comes above EVERYTHING else.






Not just friendship/comfortable love --- PASSIONATE love.






I have a feeling I am finally with the right person! ;)






I will NEVER stop reminding her how much I love and desire her.






So go ahead, stroke your partner's ego tonight......get a'lil jealous! ;)

Old Photos

I came across and old photo blog of mine. Looking forward to adding new photos as well!

Makes me want to hit the open road and take a million pictures.



Photo Blog: http://travelgirl.photoposts.org/index.php?x=browse

Ouch

My sleeping routine is so off.

So much going on in my mind!!?

Split lip from car door isn't helping much.

Hmm.

Canadain music time! ;)

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Happy, Fun - MUSIC!!





Random...


Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!


Taken at Girlspot - Club Gallery - Downtown Providence - New Year's Eve 2011!