Living Life as a Non-Drinker ("I'll Have a Soda Please!" | Alcohol is Stupid!

Whoever said high school is the hardest time of ones life clearly didn't know what it is like to be a non-drinker as an adult. 

High school was a breeze to me. Luckily my group of friends weren't into drinking / drugs and if they were, well, I didn't know about it OR it wasn't forced on me.

Neither of my parents were alcoholics. They drank occasionally (at special events) but no liquor was ever in our house (well, maybe a wine cooler here and there). 

As an adult I have faced SUCH criticism for being......a non drinker.

"YOU DON'T DRINK?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T DRINK?"

"C'MON, GET CRAZY!" 

"HAVE FUN!" 

"JUST TRY IT!" 

I try to explain how I have ZERO interest - always have - always will. 

Primarily because my stomach simply won't allow me to consume alcohol. 

The few times I have "sipped" a drink here and there my face instantly contorts and I am left wondering HOW people could find the taste of alcohol - good. 

Then again, I am also not a fan of coffee. 

No. Really.

I find NO pleasure in reeking of alcohol, puking my guts out, acting like a loud idiot and having no recollection of where I was or what I have done (mind you, I realize this only happens in extreme cases -- not "social drinking").

I don't NEED alcohol to "GET CRAZY" and "HAVE FUN" --- those who know me know I am a NUT and GAME FOR ANYTHING. Alcohol does not need to be in the equation. 

I have been left out of special dinners, gatherings, social events etc., --- simply because I DO NOT CONSUME ALCOHOL. 

People either think I will a.) feel uncomfortable b.) judge them or c.) what's the point? 

They are ALL wrong. 

I have no problem being around "social drinkers" who drink responsibly.

Judge them? No.

Worry? YES. 

Sloppy drunks (for lack of better term) make me - SAD. 

Just like drug addicts, food addicts etc., 

Anything in excess, that can physically and emotionally harm you is --- SAD. 

My opinion. 

As a child I watched my brother get so drunk he would become FRIGHTENING and VIOLENT to the women he was with. 

In recent years, since being with Jen, I have known people who have DIED from alcoholism. 

I have heard SO MANY stories of alcoholism causing heartache and pain. 

I have also heard stories of sobriety and strength, which I have more respect for than words can ever express.

Giving up ANY addiction is hard. Damn hard. I am in awe of those that conquer that. 

People have TRIED (and succeeded) to make me feel OUT OF PLACE because I wouldn't have "a drink" or smoke pot. 

Grown adults have JUDGED ME and LABELED ME as"better then them" because I wouldn't partake in drinking / drugs. 

Luckily I am a strong enough and confidant enough person to not give in to peer pressure. 

I can see through people. 

I know when someone is acting a particular way to simply hurt me. 

I know when someone is trying to get a rise out of me. 

I know when people are jealous. 

If I wrote the number of times I have been HURT in my life, you wouldn't believe it. 

If I wrote about the number of people that have "disposed" of me because of my IBS and anxiety issues ---- you wouldn't believe it.

I have lost so many friends AND family because of canceling plans, being too sick, having anxiety and, even though I don't need to, I always have explained myself and situation in hopes that these people would love me enough to understand and time and time again, these people --- just vanish. 

So now? Now I have tough skin. 

Cousins have disposed of me, "best" friends, hell - even my own farther. 

People just don't have the patience or compassion. 

Now if you flip that ---- all of this has only made me MORE compassionate and understanding of a person. 

If a friend cancels out on me last minute, I would NEVER make them feel guilty. 

If ANYONE does, I am 100% understanding. 

Why make someone feel worse than they probably already do? Especially if they had the decency to apologize and explain the situation?

See, this all ties in together. 

Exclusion. 

It is a feeling I am quite use to. 

Sometimes I feel like the only non-drinker in the universe. 

I feel like "the odd" one, when, if fact, I should thank God I don't crave something that could possible turn into an addiction. 

I already have a hard enough time with sweets thank you very much! ;) 

But it's just not the same as alcohol.

People don't get JUDGED for NOT eating sweets, they are praised for making healthy choices, but people DO get JUDGED for NOT drinking. 

How twisted is that?

In my life, and in my personal relationships, I have struggled with health issues (from as far back as 12 years old). I was at my worst in my 20's and at my best in my early to mid 30's. 

Now, in my late 30's I have hit a "see-saw" of health. I am MOSTLY good but have days / months when I am not. It is like a crap shoot. Truly. No pun intended. Ahem. 

And now I am married to a woman that has neurofybromatosis which can be very painful at times, not to mention lupus and other physical issues. Jen, like me, lives life on a see-saw. Healthy one day, not so healthy the next. 

I finally found someone that gets it. She supports me and I support her. There is never any guilt, pressure or judgement. Just 100% support and love. 

The same with drinking, Jen is a social drinker but doesn't NEED to drink. There is a HUGE difference. Trust me. 

I love that Jen is a social drinker. It is fun to learn about cool cocktails and beers when we do restaurant reviews, but it is comforting knowing I will never have to worry about her liver being damaged or alcohol poisoning. 

I will also never have to worry about a partner judging me because I do NOT drink. 

Bullying isn't just something that happens in ones youth. Oh no. As a matter of fact it could be much worse in adulthood. 

Adults are just as cruel as they were as children. 

You can be judged on your intelligence, income, work, the house you live in, car you drive, clothes you wear, HEALTH --- and yes.......drinking. 

I am SICK of being judged. 

I am SICK of being disposed of for simply being honest and myself. 

I AM SICK of guilt people try and place on me because of something I never asked for --- my health issues. 

What I will NEVER be sick of, however, is being TRUE TO MYSELF. 

Being honest with those I love and care for......and even if my list of friends/family continues to shrink.....it simply shows me who is worth my time and deserves my heart and who doesn't. 

I am a damn good friend. I am a damn good daughter. I am a damn good cousin. 

I am a damn good person.

Regardless of my limitations and likes/dislikes. 

My name is Desiree Sousa, and I am a non-drinker. 

Key West | Gay Travel Key West | Dancing Rooster in Key West

I know I haven't written in awhile! So much going on! Such an amazing MONTH LONG honeymoon!

I shall share this video I took in Key West for now, which may be the best thing you'll ever see in your life! ;)

I had this song playing in my car and spotted this Rooster, well, watch and see......

ENJOY! BLAST IT!!!