The Happy Couple

Currently I am listening to my amazing neighbors upstairs sing to their 1+ year old baby who is crying relentlessly. Maybe it is because they are singing? ;) Just kidding. I love my neighbors. They are Mormon so I am not sure if they love me as much as I do them, but, nonetheless, they are amazing, respectful people who I feel lucky to "live under".



I have been observing this family for well over a year now. The husband is a lawyer. He leaves the house by 8am Monday-Friday and is usually home by 5/6pm. Their 3 year old runs to the door, jumping up and down, screaming "daddy! daddy! daddy!" --- I hear him say, "Hi buddy!" During the warmer months he plays in the yard with his son, baby in one of those front backpack thingies (so cute), still in his work clothes. They return upstairs soon after for dinner and then head back to the yard, this time he is in more casual wear. I hear him tell his wife and kids he loves them every day as he walks out the door. I have heard him tell his 3 year old son to pick flowers for his mom or to say he loves her etc.,



I have heard the wife compliment him saying how handsome he looks. I have seen her give him kisses. I have heard her say how happy she is that he is home. I have heard her yell out the window as he is parking his car that she made his favorite dinner.





There is no doubt this couple loves and respects each other. Btw, both of their children were adopted. I am assuming one of them is unable to have children. This obviously hasn't been a problem at all.



The wife, a stay at home mom, is incredible. She is with those kids, usually alone, from early in the morning until her husband gets home at night. I hear her playing with them, reading to them, singing to them. I hear her head out and arrive back home from errands. There is always an amazing aroma in the hallway during dinner time.


Its quite beautiful. I like to think they are truly an "All American" happy, healthy family. True I don't know what goes on behind closed doors, but this is what I would like to believe. What I have witnessed leads me to this assumption.



Why am I writing this?

Because I love witnessing healthy, happy relationships. All too often we witness the opposite. People who take their partners for granted. People who disrespect their partners. Fighting. Cheating. Lying. This is as ugly as my neighbors upstairs are beautiful.


I cannot picture the woman telling her husband to "fuck off" or that she "hates him".

I cannot picture the man telling his wife how "hot or cute" some woman on TV is or that he will be attending some major event without her.

 I cannot picture the woman telling her husband that "his opinion means nothing to her" or hearing him compare her to someone else's wife.


I cannot picture her belittling his "manhood" or him making her feel any less of a woman because she may be in sweat pants and have messy hair when he comes home.


Think about it.


How do YOU treat YOUR partner?

Do you build him/her up and make him/her feel valued and appreciated or do you make them feel small, unappreciated, unattractive and always compare them to someone or something else?

Do you build up your partner's ego or knock it down?





Are you your partner's #1 fan or their worst enemy?



Do you secretly try to sabotage their happiness or do everything in your power to make them shine?


Do you pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth and think how they could make your partner feel or do you purposely say things that could hurt your partner?

 The golden rule of "do unto others as you would have done to you" is so very true.

That is why so many relationships end.

 Even the kindest, most loving, patient of people have their breaking point.

How many times do you think you could come home late, forget to tell your wife how pretty she is, or your husband how proud of him you are? How many times do you think you can get away commenting on the attractiveness of other women or men before your partner has enough and looks elsewhere for attention?

Then we scratch our heads and wonder why the relationship ended.
 I have no doubt that the couple that lives above me will defy the odds and stay married forever.

They are doing everything right. I have not heard one loud argument since living here. Do they have disagreements and fights? I am sure. How boring if they didn't. But I am pretty sure they do it in a respectful adult-like way.

 When my neighbor comes home from work his complete attention goes to his wife and kids.

When my neighbor's husband walks through that door --- you can hear the joy, laughter (noise - lol) of the complete joy of his arrival.



Gay or straight......this is the formula for a healthy, happy relationship.

Respect, trust, kindness, laughter........making each other feel like "kings and queens" or "queens and queens" / "kings and kings" - lol.


It's all very simple.

Really.

Riot Grrrl: I should be writing, right?

My girlfriend's latest Blog!

Riot Grrrl: I should be writing, right?: So, I am stealing the title of my girlfriend’s most recent blog because it holds true for me, too. I am sure it holds true for many of yo...

I should be writing, right?

Writing! Writing! Writing!

I have so much writing I want to do. Both for work and personal.

I need to catch up on reviews from this summer/fall for www.gaytravelinformation.com.

Reviews for such places as: Harbor Inn on Martha's Vineyard, Spruce Point Inn-Boothbay Harbor, Maine, Le Capitole - Quebec City, Fairmont Chateau Frontenac - Quebec City. A review on 'Winter Rendezvous Stowe, VT gay ski week'.....numerous restaurant reviews....ahhh!! All so overwhelming, but exciting.

I still can't believe the opportunities www.gaytravelinformation.com has provided me since March 2011! It just keeps getting better and better. Everything from concert, restaurants, hotels, haunted inns, special events etc., -- I am so blessed when it comes to this and so happy to have someone in my life who enjoys it as much as I do!

I can't believe I am going to be staying at The Ice Hotel in Quebec City next month! AN ICE HOTEL!!!!! Holy crap. Not only is this exciting, but the fact that we will be there during Quebec's famous Winter Carnival! Oh, and the weekend before Valentine's Day. Wow.

Everytime I feel stressed about selling travel or ads for www.gaytravelinformation.com, I have to remind myself of all these amazing perks work provides me with. The presitge Out & About Travel has gained which affords me these opportunities.

There is just so much to write about.....

Jen and I are planning a 2+ week road trip right around my birthday cross country! Her first time! How exciting is that?

I could write about how much I love going dancing lately.

I could write about how much I love playing pool.

I could write about how excited I am about our Super Bowl party and the fact that The Patriots are in it!!

I could write about all the exciting things I have up my sleeve next month! ;) (hehehehe)

I could write about the terrible food poisonig incident Jen had from Toby Keith's restaurant.

I could write about how much fun we are having watching the 'Dawnson's Creek' series DVD set that Jen bought.

I could write about the Prom Party we have planned for May.

I could write about how I re-connected with my first girlfriend from high school, Tennille, on Facebook and how wonderful that has been.

I could write about how big my niece Angel is getting and how well she talks and carries on conversations now!

I could write about all my exciting plans for Out & About Travel and Gay Travel Information.

I spend the day writing.

Whether it be to update my web site, work on my blog, email clients back, play on Facebook, Tweet, write personal blogs, reviews etc., ---

I write, write and write some more.

It's all about expression.

I am sure one day soon I will sit and write about all of the events that have been going on in my life.

Until then, I will just say that.....

I am happy and so very blessed.

Now.....

What's On My Mind

Sometimes I wish I could write a blog post that really resonates with someone. Whether it be the shy tomboy, or the beautiful woman who thinks she is too "fat", or the person afraid to follow their dreams. I wish I could write the words to make people realize how beautiful and special they are. How money isn't everything. How people really do forgive. How true love never dies. How everything happens for a reason. How the pain you may be feeling this very moment will someday be replaced with joy.....and vice versa. How to appreciate the people in your life each second because you never know when you won't have them any longer. I wish I could say something that would resonate with people to be kinder to their pets and pets in general. To not abuse an innocent child.....or anyone. That the cruel words that slip from your mouth hurt more than any type bruise. That the voice inside your head telling you that you aren't "good enough" or "smart enough" or "attractive enough" is false.....especially to the person who will meet and fall in love with you. That we all make mistakes and sincere apologies always have positive results. I wish I could wrap my arms around someone crying right now and say the right words to make them laugh. I wish someone was wrapping their arms around me right now and making me laugh. I wish I could look into the eyes of people I loved and have lost one more time and have my actions speak louder than words. Yes. I wish there was something I could write to make people...."get it". That we have the power to push people closer to us........or further. Each choice we make, each second of the day, goes into our "pot of life" and has repercussions. That it is very easy to change the intensity of love. The intensity of friendship. The intensity of a family bond. Our actions either pull us closer or push us further. Problem is many people don't stop and think before they act. We fail to stop and think before we speak.

I wish there was a way to make people realize how each second counts. Each action counts. How do you choose to live your seconds? Pulling people toward you or pushing them away?






Life changes second to second......if your lucky, for the better.






Then people always act dumfounded when things change for the worse, when, we, in our own way...created that reality.

If how you have been doing things hasn't worked in the past? Why repeat these things?






Change.






Its possible.






Pull people toward you. Think before you act or speak.






It will make a difference in your life.






In your life pattern.






I wish there was a way to help people have......no regrets.

Time for more FUN Dance Music!

Something Exciting is Brewing....

So I am up to "no good", oops, I mean GOOD right now! ;-) VERY GOOD.

I have a surprise planned that will shock the socks off of a footless person!?!?

No one has been able to figure out what I have "up my sleeve" ...and even if they did, I won't break! lol!

All I can say is that it is a very good and exciting thing. A ballsy thing and something people may not ever thought I'd be "brave" enough to do.

2012 is all about leaping into life and eliminating fear (to the best of someone's ability).  

CLUES:

• Tiger
• Hand warmer
• Stop & Shop
• Donna Ricci-Etchells
• Holidays
• Buzz Lightyear
• New Balance Shoes
• Adivan
• Train
• Jimmy Buffett
• Jambalaya
• Fuck
• Sue Ellen (from TV show "Dallas")
• Woody
• Mechanical Bull
• Pelican
• Sunset
• Nighttime
• Lesbians
• Immodium
• Mullets
• April Swartz
• 2012
• Handbags
• Providence
• Rock Band
• White
• Key West
• Orb
• Frostbite
• Hot
• Heat
• A/C
• Straight Face
• Laughter
• Ruby Slippers
• April Fools Day
• :-P

It's going to be an amazing year.....just wait and see!

Healthy Jealousy Exists!

Jealousy

Jealousy is usally associated with something negative. Rightfully so because most times it is.


To be envious or enraged over something or someone is a scary emotion especially if you are the object of such envy and rage.


But, small doses of jealousy can also be......sexy.


I have never been a jealous person as far as materialistic items go.


I have always trusted my partners.


I never look at someone and feel anger for their good fortune.


In relationships I know what it is like to be with a partner that points out people looking at you with almost a proud smile and pat on the back to being in a relationship where my partner threatened physical harm (usually in a joking/silly manor) on anyone that slightly came across as flirtatious.


Both of these are wrong and unhealthy, but somewhere in between is something VERY healthy and, in my opinion, needed in a sustaining relationship.


There have been several times in my life where I have been courted or was the object of someone's "crush". Even if the feelings weren't reciprocated on my part, it sure felt GOOD knowing someone was attracted to me both on the inside and out. Male and female and I, like everyone else, have also had my fair share of crushes. Some reciprocated and some not.


When you are in a relationship with someone where there is mutual attraction and chemistry it is the best feeling in the world. What could be better than knowing someone desires you and feels grateful to have you in their life?


All too often, as the years go by, and the relationship loses it's "newness" we start to take each other for granted. We think, "They'll never leave me." -- blah, blah, blah. When this happens the romance dies, sex often disappears and once "hot" lovers turn into best friends or worse.....siblings (yuck).


Don't get me wrong! There is something extremely beautiful about familiarity and reaching that comfort point with your partner where you know you are loved and accepted regardless of, well, anything.


HOWEVER.....


It is also during this transition when people start "getting the itch" and "wandering eye". Why? Because they are no longer getting the attention from their partner they once were.


Some people are okay with the monotony and almost prefer it, I, however, and many others....am not.


There is a quote I can't quite remember but it is along the lines of:


"Find the person who is afraid of losing you and reminds you how lucky they are to have you each day."



This doesn't mean, LIVING IN FEAR YOUR PARTNER IS GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU (double yuck), this means having someone who never takes you for granted and helps "keep the fire burning."


How does this happen?


Mostly with TRUST, of course and.......a healthy dose of jealousy, which, if expressed correctly can be quite sexy.


When I say a healthy dose of jealousy can be healthy I do NOT mean:



* Jealous of one's friends.






* Jealous of one's job.






* Jealous of one's relationship with their parents.






* Jealous of one's achievements.






* Jealous of one's appearance.






....NOTHING like that.


What I DO mean is:





* A sense of that person "belonging" to you (i.e. "my ____insert partner's name here____") -- Feeling like that person is "all yours" can be quite sexy.


* Sensing the other person's need for attention and always meeting that need --- can be sexy.


* Knowing that regardless of any sort of advances by strangers that the person is completely faithful and "yours".......is sexy.


* Knowing that your partner desires you and finds you attractive and appreciates what they have and vice versa....is sexy.



* Knowing that you are your partner's type and vice versa and reminding them of this -- is sexy.





Do you follow me? :)



We all want to feel "claimed" in a sense. We are want to "mark our territory". It is our primal instinct and that rush of knowing something I have claimed feels the same toward me is quite the turn on.


When I feel like I am not the object of desire --- it is a turn off. Not that I need 24/7 attention, but in a relationship, for the chemistry to last, you need a never ending supply of "ego booster" from your partner, at least I do, If I am being honest here.






There is no bigger turn off than fawning over someone else.






There is no bigger turn off than ignoring me.






There is no bigger turn off than not expressing your emotions to me.






There is no bigger turn off than acting as if "nothing bothers you" as far as other people go.






I need the fire, the passion, the desire, that excitement.






I've had healthy doses of "jealousy" in previous relationships and it did wonders for the chemistry and physical aspect but jealousy has a FINE LINE that must never be crossed. The second "healthy jealousy" turns to "envy and rage".......well.......game over.






Think of it this way.....






Every "wife" still wants to know her "husband" finds her attractive and not the "bimbo" on TV -- UNLESS the "husband" points out something in this "bimbo" that reminds him of his "wife" ----- then the "wife" might look at the "bimbo" differently --- hence, a little "spice" added to the marriage. Maybe the woman on TV looks like the "man's wife" but is wearing something a bit more risque. That could be the "husband's" way of hinting to his wife, "honey, you would look good in that" ------ Just making a point here.

THE HEALTHY THING TO SAY WOULD BE:


"See that woman on TV? You remind me of her. You would look even more beautiful in that outfit than she does."


That would be the CORRECT way to get your point accross.


BAD WAY: "Damn, that woman is hot. Wish you would wear something like that for me!"






YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Unless you are comparing someone to your partner, keep your goddamn mouth shut! ;)






Do you think your husband wants to hear how "hot" you find Brad Pitt? Especially if he has a beer gut, gray hair and is balding?????






Shutty the mouthy.






STROKE YOUR PARTNER'S EGO and I assure you, your relationship will not only last but keep its FIRE and passion.






We all want to be reminded that we are coveted!!






We all want to be reminded that we are VALUED, APPRECIATED, RESPECTED -- DESIRED.






If YOU don't provide this to your partner than that means:






A.) You really don't care if they cheat on you, lead a double life or will eventually file for divorce.


B.) You yourself are over the relationship completely and ready to move on.






It is human nature to seek out what we need for survival.






For me? Love comes above EVERYTHING else.






Not just friendship/comfortable love --- PASSIONATE love.






I have a feeling I am finally with the right person! ;)






I will NEVER stop reminding her how much I love and desire her.






So go ahead, stroke your partner's ego tonight......get a'lil jealous! ;)

Old Photos

I came across and old photo blog of mine. Looking forward to adding new photos as well!

Makes me want to hit the open road and take a million pictures.

Photo Blog: http://travelgirl.photoposts.org/index.php?x=browse

Ouch

My sleeping routine is so off.

So much going on in my mind!!?

Split lip from car door isn't helping much.

Hmm.

Canadain music time! ;)

Happy, Fun - MUSIC!!

Random...

Happy New Year!

Taken at Girlspot - Club Gallery - Downtown Providence - New Year's Eve 2011!

Thank you Canada......XO

Some New Videos to ring in 2012.....

Happy (INSERT WORD HERE) New Year!!!!

Happy New Year to Me.



Please.



What a roller coaster of a year 2011 has been.



There were many beautiful parts and then heartbreaking parts.


Luckily 2011 is ending back on the beautiful parts, but I am changed person 100%.



How have I changed this year?


I know no emotional or physical pain will ever bring me to a "breaking point". I know that there is nothing I cannot get through.


I know that when I am at my "darkest point", a point of wanting to "give up" --- curl into a little ball and forget the world around me ---- I won't.


I take a deep breath and the voice on my right shoulder knocks the voice on my left shoulder out.


The voice saying, "YOU WILL BE OKAY!" and "YOU CAN DO THIS!" and "BE STRONG!" is way louder than the tears and negative chatter.



I reached my lowest point emotionally the night of the hurricane here in Rhode Island this past August. I was alone in my apt. Lights out. No A/C. No noise. No partner to "ride it out with" ----- just me and my pets. I felt panicky. I felt trapped. I felt truly afraid. I was standing in my kitchen taking a panic attack, hyperventilating. Dealing with a broken heart, betrayal, fear and loneliness but the emotion that beat all of those negative thoughts up was --- HOPE. I had just started talking to Jen and I had such amazing support of family and friends and -- my FAITH. I somehow managed to get myself to Providence, where I had a total breakdown that night and by the next morning ---- I was fine and I HAVEN'T HAD ANOTHER "breakdown" since and I don't think I ever will.


My muscles may not be as big as they were last spring.



I may not be as toned in general as I was last spring...lol....but....



DAMN, my emotional muscles are stronger than ever.



I could go on and on about the negative aspects of 2011 but let me focus on the positives right now....and I will end with the most positive of them all! ;)


My ex loved me. I don't care what she may say or has said to me -- I know what we shared and I know she loved me as much as I loved her. I know the laughter we shared. Laughing so hard we would feel sick or run to the bathroom..lol. I know the way we got each other's humor. I know how we just got --- each other. I know the deep conversations we had whether in person or via email. I know the plans we made. I remember the look of love in her eyes. The compliments I would receive on a daily basis. I am choosing to focus on THAT. Some people need constant change and sometimes when that happens we act in ways we never thought we would. We say things we never thought we would. Whatever the reason......I would like to think that isn't who the really person is. You don't just spend almost 1,825 days with someone you "don't love".....I know the chemistry we had. You can't fake chemistry. THIS is what I am choosing to remember. Not the things said out of "pain" or "anger" -------- we all make mistakes, get angry and say/do stupid things. That is life. I like to base how a person REALLY is on the MAJORITY of the time and my ex and I had a beautiful connection most of the time. That is how I am choosing to remember her as 2011 comes to an end.


I am strong enough to do this.


I am happy enough to do this.



Another beautiful thing I realized in 2011 is that I have A TON of friends who are like FAMILY and my family are like my BEST FRIENDS.



The support I received in 2011 makes me teary eyed.


My friend Donna became my sister. She wholeheartedly got me through my heartbreak. She and da mamas were my rock.



All of my other friends were like marionettes. Lifting me up when I couldn't move.



The amount of NEW friends in my life is amazing.


People that came from out of nowhere and supported me this summer are truly guardian angels.



Kristin, Martine, Sarah, Kendra, Marygrace, Kim, Annette etc., -- Wow. Wow. Wow.


Their friendship helped me so much (and continues to help me).


There are so many beautiful, kind hearted people out there and I feel SO LUCKY to have met them.


Yeah. Friends are like family and family can be friends.


Lucky.


Now onto finances.



Holy shit what a tough year.


God has blessed me with a mother that is not only my mother but my best friend and if it wasn't for her, I have no idea where I would've been this summer.


I have learned that when my emotional state is out of wack ----"I" am COMPLETELY out of wack.


I cannot, absolutely CANNOT FOCUS.



My business took a MAJOR HIT this spring/summer.



Every bit of money I personally had saved was used and with my mother's love and support I was able to keep my head afloat.


2011 is ending on a very stressful, yet positive note, as far as finances go.





I may be hurting more than ever financially but I am more positive about this changing in 2012 than I have ever been and this all has to do with the final person I will focus on when I end this! ;)


I have always had health issues which have caused me to become self employed and start my own company which has provided me with opportunities that also make me teary eyed.



I am so in love with my small little business.



It is the thing I am most proud of in life.



I will never give up on it and I know it will never give up on me.



I will love it hard in 2012.

I will give it the love and attention it deserves.





I will bring it back to life bigger and better than ever.


Out & About Travel is a part of me.



It provides me with not only money but TRAVEL and WRITING opportunities.


It makes me feel ALIVE and EXCITED and SO GRATEFUL.

 It has never given up on me and I will never give up on it.



This year has taught me that I can survive on VERY LITTLE and still LIVE A HELL OF A LIFE.


Damn, do I LIVE LIFE.


I have FUN and I will NEVER CHANGE THAT.


I don't know when God will take me, so I will ALWAYS live the life I am lucky enough to have.


Finally....






2011 has taught me that SOME psychics are amazingly accurate and when you think you will never find love again, shut the fuck up...and open your eyes.


Let me tell you all about heartbreak. That moment when you feel as if your WORLD HAS ENDED and you will NEVER BE ATTRACTED TO ANYONE ELSE THE SAME AGAIN or find someone ATTRACTED TO YOU THE SAME WAY or blah, blah, blah...


SHUT THAT VOICE UP!!!!!


FIND THE STRENGTH!!!!!



Trust me....


Even when you feel like you will throw up if you write one more personal ad on those online dating sites....DO IT.


As my psychic explained to me ---- "The universe is always working in your favor."


My psychic, Liz, told me during one of my readings in June the following:



"You are going to meet a woman with dark, medium length, wavy hair and dark eyes who is going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. She is going to seem very familiar and have some sort of issue with her hip."


Jennifer Walsh.



Jennifer has beautiful, dark, wavy/curly, medium length hair. She has the brightest, most gorgeous dark eyes I have ever seen. She has a smile that lights up her face...and a room. A profile that makes me stutter. She treats me like I "deserve to be treated" and you know what? Because of her NF she has a slight issue with her hip that sometimes caused her pain.


Wow.



I met Jen on Martch.com.


I was not only attracted to her cuteness at the time I saw her ad, I was attracted to her OUTLOOK on life and a quote by her brother who had passed over a year ago:


"Enjoy life, that's all that matters."


I knew I had to write her.


I sent her a heartfelt letter.


She responded.


I did not.


She wrote again and sent a friend request on Facebook.


I responded.


We celebrated our 3 month anniversary the other day.


I feel like I have know Jennifer forever.


We connect on EVERY (and I do mean EVERY) level.
 She is 37 and looks in her 20's.
 She LOVES ALL KINDS OF MUSIC.


She isn't materialistic.


She is close to her family.


She loves pets.


She is kindhearted.


She is an amazing friend.


She is amazing with children.


She is FUN and ENJOYS LIFE.


She is NOT a workaholic.


She is romantic and sweet and loves the simple things in life like --- snuggling on the coach watching a movie with me!


She is the perfect combination of HOT FEMME mixed with a strong, sexy, tomboy attitude which melts me.

 She is aggressive in areas that compliments my shyness.






She makes me laugh.


We have the same morals and future goals.


I am her priority!!!!!! Oh my God, how good does that feel??? :)))


I am completely in love. Head over heels in love.


And for the first time --- ever. I feel someone loves me, simply for me.
 But love on all levels. Romantic and friendship.


Jen always says "WE HAVE IT ALL" so I am stealing this and saying --


WE DO HAVE IT ALL.


She has called me her "FOREVER PERSON" and "PERFECT MATCH" and I am stealing this too.


Jen makes me feel so attractive and brings out sides of me that have been hidden for quite some time.






Our chemistry is off the charts.






We have a very HEALTHY relationship! ;)






I feel safe, accepted, loved, encouraged and -- RESPECTED.






I feel VALUED.






I feel like I am FINALLY being "treated the way I deserve to be treated" and I hope I am treating her the same way. I like to think I am! ;)






Our families love each other.






God, I love her mom & dad.






Mom and Dad Walsh...!! :)






Such wonderful, loving, kind people.






THEY make me teary eyed.






I can see where Jen gets her GOODNESS from.






I can only imagine how much I would've loved her brother, Patrick.






I can't explain it but I have a very deep connection to Patrick. I get very emotional when I think about him and what Jen and her parents must've went through during his illness.






I feel him around ME....!? It's very weird but beautiful.






I feel like I want to tell him, "Don't worry Patrick, I will look after everyone."






As I was typing this out I was watching Jen in the living room surrounded by the pets. Reed on her lap. Flufferella on her chest. Rosie laying behind her and I am sure Thumpy & Mitzy were close by. The pets LOVE her and she loves them. EACH OF THEM. It's beautiful.






What a beautiful site.






Jen is my future.






Jen is my 2012.






Jen will be each new year from here on end.






I don't have to worry about her telling me:






"I have better things I can be doing."






or...






"I don't know what I want."






or....






"You can leave and I wouldn't care."






or....






"I don't want this to be my life."






or....






"I don't feel in love."






or....






"You don't know what I am capable of."






or.....






"I never loved you."






or.....






"Is this too big of a word for you?"






or....






"Your opinion means nothing to me."






or....






"Fuck you!"






or.....






"I hate you!"






or.....






"Personally I don't care what your mother thinks."






or....






"Your loser of a brother."






or....






"I'd have more fun without you."






or....






"You'll never come before work."






or....






"I don't like the holidays."






or....






All mixed with contradictory things like, "I love you!", "I can't imagine my life without you!", "You are my everything!", etc., etc., etc.,






Sigh.






Goodbye 2011.






Goodbye heartache.






Goodbye cruel words.






Goodbye lies.






I welcome 2012 with open arms.






I will appreciate every second --- good or bad because I know nothing, NOTHING, will ever compare to the pain I experienced in 2011.






I will continue to love with everything in me and hope that the person I am loving, Jennifer Walsh, will always appreciate and value this, which I am pretty sure she will.






I will continue to NEVER give up when it comes to work and financial peace of mind.






I will continue to be the best daughter I could possibly be and hope my mom (mamas) realize this.






I will continue to be the best mama to my pets.






I will continue to travel and thank GOD for each second he blesses this luxury on me. I will appreciate the way the sky looks. The way the trees look when the sunlight hits them just right. I will appreciate the way the air smells. The way the clouds look. I will appreciate every second of travel. Travel. One of my great loves. Something that keeps me --- breathing.






I will continue to be a good friend and will always be there for people who may need me.






I will write, write and write some more. I will NEVER stop expressing myself.






I will continue to be HONEST and forthright and, sorry, will continue to sometimes use "small little white lies" if it means I can avoid hurting someone's feelings. Remember -- "IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY --- DON'T SAY ANYTHING OR LIE!" ;) ;)






I will continue to nurture and love Out & About Travel and will pump life back into it and "love it the way it deserves to be loved."






And most of all...






I will continue to LIVE LIFE.....






Rich or poor.






Better or worse.






I am married to LIVING LIFE.






2012?






Bring it on! ;)






-Des