Lez Be Honest - Take 3!

I haven't written about the Femme Tomboy thing in awhile, so figured I'd share some random thoughts. Speaking of which, this blog can now be accessed by simply typing: http://www.femmetomboy.com/. Yay! :D

 I've been thinking about my identity as a femme tomboy. I know I have posted things in the past about more of my feminine traits (I like to decorate, cook, shop, am very emotional etc.,) but now let's focus on more of the masculine parts that define my identity and what I am attracted to.
For as feminine a tomboy as I am, I am still very much in touch with the BOY part of that word.

Makeup, fancy shoes, lingerie and crossing of the legs still make me week in the knees.

 I love the girly side of a girl because even though I am emotionally feminine I just don't have "those ways" that most women have. Make sense? The whole crossing of the legs, wearing hair longer, putting makeup on a regular basis, being able to wear a dress or skirt or feminine lingerie. Just having that NATURAL feminine way.


The tomBOY in me seeks out these qualities in my partner. NOT that my partner isn't as sexy in ripped jeans and a sweatshirt. God, no. It's just what I find attractive and a turn on.
Then again a simple look in the eyes is a turn on to me too! ;)
My point? I am very much in touch with the "boy" part of my personality and love when that part connects with the "girl" part of my partner's personality. I use words like "boy" and "girl" because they sound softer.

Now here is the thing. Really ask yourself -- what are YOU TRULY attracted to?


For the purpose of this blog I will use women references.


Are you attracted to longer hair on a woman?


Are you attracted to makeup on a woman?


Are you attracted to jewelry on a woman?


Are you attracted to perfume on a woman?


Think of your celebrity crushes. Truly think about it.


Are you more attracted to someone like "Ty" from the group Girlyman or someone like (because my fiance is a fan and I can't think of anyone else) Gillian Anderson from X-Files?


Are you more a Xena Worrier Princess lover or Ellen Degeneres?

 
Seriously. Stop and think about it. This is your life. You need to know these things.


Blond hair? Brown hair?


Blue eyes? Brown eyes?


When you see (or have seen) a person you are attracted to in your life what "stereotype" do they fall under? Don't say, "I don't have one" -- because we all do.


Think about the person you have been most attracted to in your life.


What was it about them that attracted you?

 What was it about their appearance? Personality?

 
Who turned you on the most? REALLY TURNED YOU ON???


Who fit that part of your "chemical sexual" self best?


Be honest. Don't lie.....especially not to yourself.


I was in several relationships before I found a person that "I" was truly their type, as they were mine and the chemistry was off the charts.


There is NO denying the chemistry when type A.) meets type B.) and the two mesh to = type C.)


Whatever that means!? LOL!?!


Even now, with my fiance, I feel that I am her type, as she is mine, and I don't think we'd be where we are today if she wasn't.


I feel VERY STRONGLY about this.

Having been on both sides of the fence (friendship love and romantic love), I know I NEVER, EVER want to go back to just a friendship love.

I want my partner to love, truly LOVE and be turned on by and attracted to my "boyish ways" as I am to her "girlish ways".......not because "I" like certain things but because we both equally like certain things, if that make sense. If someone does something for someone even if they aren't a fan of it, the other person will pick up on it and the truth will come out in the end, as it always does. It is so much better to be open and honest up front.


I don't want to be with someone that looks at Kate Winslet and gets aroused or Madonna (sorry, these are all that are coming to my mind...lol). I want to be with someone that looks at someone like Ty, Ellen or Amy Ray and gets weak in the knees (again, sorry, can't think of any good tomboy lesbians).


I wish I could go up to every couple and ask: "What is it that truly, TRULY turns you on about the other person?" ---- and if there is a lull or some random generic answer ---- I'd look at the other person and say, "Dude, this isn't the one for you."


So many people confuse lust for love or friendship for love because we are all so afraid of being alone.


I see so many unhappy couples who waste years of their lives with someone only to be left in the long run because there was "something lacking."


Sigh.


Don't let that happen to you.


Find the one that makes your heart beat out of its chest, your mouth go dry, your sexual energy skyrocket AND treats you right, respects you, makes you laugh and is your # 1 fan.


Even though Jen has only been in my life 6 months, I feel I have found all this with her, that is why I asked her to be my wife.


And if you are reading this and have a partner that truly (again, TRULY) isn't your type.....stop playing with their emotions. Stop lying to them. Stop lying to yourself. Life is precious and way too short for something like that.



Find THE ONE meant for you.


However long it takes.


That is all! :-)