Noise

Last night I woke up to the news Bin Laden was dead (about time).

I dozed off to THAT news and  awoke to the loudest gun shot I ever heard.

Somewhere in my great neighborhood of Warren.

Tears filled my eyes. I prayed. That sound can never be a good thing.

Never.

Informed cops of what we heard. Did they even care?

Daybreak - abundant sunshine - birds singing - sounds of the morning.

Life goes on - for some.

What was that gun shot about? Suicide? Celebration over the death of Bin Laden? Accident? Murder?

Fear. Worry. Saddness.

I love waking up to a sunny morning. So much anticipation for the day.

I love hearing my neighbors go about their "family" life upstairs. Twinge of jealousy and longing.

I hate the silence in my apartment at this moment.

Put on music. Play with pets. Work --- but still --- silence.

During the warmer months I can have my window open and pretend I am part of the noise outside. It comforts me.

Is there anyone else out there that feels the same as me?

Yuck. I had freezer burned, blueberry waffles this morning. Why? Hunger pains. Deseperation.

Neighbors cooked bacon and coffee --- I could smell it so the waffles seemed like the right thing to do.

I ate them standing up - by myself - near the toaster. Turned lights on in kitchen to feel more alive.

Not even 8am.

Maybe today will be the day I make a sale. Sell an ad.

Become ---- important.

Maybe today will be the day I meet someone who feels the way I do and longs for a friendship that helps them feel......connected.

I love connection.

I love romance.

I love ----- sunshine.

Thank you God for making the day nice enough to open my window and feel part of the noise around me.