Lez-Be-Honest

Blogs are funny. They are meant to be an avenue of expression. A place where you can be OPEN and HONEST and CREATIVE, but I wonder just how many people actually do that?

We all know people are going to read our blog. People including family and friends. This causes an automatic filter to go up. We try to word things appropriately instead of just letting lose and writing exactly what we want to say (be it curse words, serious emotions, anger etc.,).

I try to write blogs that express exactly what I am feeling, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I filter myself. Ugh. This drives me crazy.

I would love to just type every word, thought, feeling without filtering myself. Maybe, in time, I will. How liberating would that be?

 I can give it a practice run:

I had a hard time sleeping last night. Mind racing with thoughts. Stomach unhappy with several food choices made. Heart heavy with worry and burdensome thoughts. Replay of happy and sad times. Thought of family members I haven't seen in awhile. Lots of worry going on in my mind last night about finances - work - business woe's. I felt hot and then cold. Arm fell asleep. The quiet was so loud I almost wanted to blear music. Went to bed around 12am. Woke up at 3am. Tried to sleep. Woke up at 4am. Thinking about updating web site, promoting my business, writing reviews, working on price quotes ---- staying afloat. Tight chested. Then I felt gratitude and peace and love and happiness and snapped out of the worry and felt relaxed again.


I was up and working by 7:30am and back in bed with a pounding head and unhappy tummy at 10am. I was back up at 11am writing reviews and working on my web site. Tried to turn off the thoughts to clean. Turn off the thoughts to re-decorate my office. Turn off the thoughts of everything else but --- work. I was pretty successful I am happy to say.



I wanted to get my hair cut but work took top priority today so I will wait until Monday. When my hair reaches a certain length/thickness I become disturbed....lol. Hair and bridges ---- stress.

 I had a cupcake for breakfast and regret for lunch.

 There is so much I want to be doing right now. Did I mention cleaning? Taking Reed for a long walk. I hate days where all I do is sit and work. I need and crave activity.


It's amazing the amount of work I do and the lack of financial freedom I feel.


Again. Worry.

 But -- each year is about re-invention. Both personally and work wise. I will re-invent Out & About Travel. It will grow and be better than ever. Failure isn't an option when it comes to my business. I may have tough times but that only teaches me what I am doing wrong and points me in the right direction. Out & About Travel is the thing I am most proud of in my life. I can't control life situations that have pushed it aside at times, but it is always with me and has always "had my back" --- It is one of my true loves.



So today I am feeling antsy, worried yet enthusiastic, feeling like I desperately need a hair cut, craving healthy food and gallons of water, feeling the need to be active, trying to drown out the sad/worrisome thoughts and focus on the love and good fortune I have been blessed with.

 A nice, fat commission check would make me even happier if I am being honest here....

 But peace of mind, love and peace truly makes me the HAPPIEST.


How is that for honesty?