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Now let me first say: a.) I am in a happily, committed relationship with the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with and b.) I am not, never will be and have never considered myself to be "butch". With that said, this article can still apply to tomboy's like myself and, well, pretty much anyone else when it comes to the fine art of flirting.
I truly got a kick out of this and found myself smiling and saying: "YUP!" a lot of the time! ;)
I guess all that is to say, that you may be gorgeous and perfectly stating your case but we might still blow it. We want you, but the words just don’t make it out because you are just too damned hot and we are temporarily… well retarded. Women do that to us from time to time. Anyhow if you wanted to hit on me in any setting, here is what you do. Come up to me with a smile and cheerfully say hello. Tell me your name. Ask me my name. Compliment me or comment on something I am doing or holding. Don’t ask me for help with any type of task because I will think our conversation is functional. I will not assume you are hitting on me. Ask me my opinion on something you are about to buy and I will assume you are hitting on me. If you are wearing something rainbow, yes I will notice it but not all straight girls know what the rainbow means. Worst case scenario you could just ask me out or even tell me you are a femme and it is hard to meet butchies like me so you just wanted to come up and say hello and see if I would like a new friend.
Yes there are straight butches but they are more rare than high femme lesbians. It is not likely you are running into one of those. Don’t be forward, just be honest and sweet and I will notice. If it was me, this is what I would want. There is plenty of time to play hard to get in the butch/femme mating dance. If you play it in the beginning, you likely will end up at a dead end faster than you know it. However, if you don’t mind being the aggressor at first then you might just find the butch you want.
If none of this works then just chalk it up to the fact that the butch you thought you wanted is a weenie and probably couldn’t handle your sexy self anyway. If I was single and a woman came up to me saying those things and I found her attractive I would definitely capitalize on it. Then you can play hard to get when I am trying to bed you down. There is no rule that just because you show a butchie that you are interested in getting to know them means you want to sleep with them. And just because you are a femme does not mean a butch will be attracted to you. Femmes flirt with and hit on me all the time whether I am single or attached but that does not mean I am interested in them either. They may just not be my type physically or spiritually. Just because femmes are rare does not mean I am so desperate that I will jump at the first femme who shows me interest either. I am a good catch too ya know. I am sure many butchies feel just like I do. And if they are desperate, then that’s a mess you just don’t want to touch.
If you are femme you are like a chameleon. You blend into the scenery as something you may not be. Sometimes you might just have to purposely change your colors to stand out and be noticed. And by that I don’t mean change your physical appearance. But for fucks sake speak up and let a butchie know you are there! We notice the ones who do.
2 comments:
I loved reading this article. I can see some of the parts where you would be smiling and saying "Yup!"
The last paragraph really spoke right to me. I have always felt like the chameleon and felt like I just have blended in with everyone else. Like I have said to you before, I always felt like a plain Jane type that never stands out. So, you are definitely making me feel and realize that I am not that chameleon at all. You bring something out of me that I didn't even know was there. I love what you bring out of me. You make this femme want to speak up and make sure that I speak directly to YOU! ;) XOXO
Jen, as I have told you before there is nothing plain about you. You are the most unique woman I have ever met. You have the most intense eyes, a smile that lights up your face, a profile that makes me weak in the knees and "this way" about you -- this " strong femme" attitude that turns me into a "teenage tomboy" - !? LOL! I don't know how else to explain it!!! You make my leg randomly lift up...!!?!?! What is that? lol!! You make me look down and tight chested and unable to look in your eyes. Not from intimidation, but from attraction. You are such a sexy woman. Intellectually and physically. You have your OWN style. You have this OTHER side that "I" am "lucky" enough to know! ;) You are the whole package and I feel so lucky you are mine.
As corny as this sounds, sometimes someone just needs water, like a flower, to blossom and show it's true colors. I think we are "watering" each other now!? Um.....??? You know what I mean? ;) We are just beginning to blossom. I think there is a lot more hidden inside us and I am so glad that you are "my femme that knows how to fix a car and is great with tools and hot in a tie" --- I love you so much.
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