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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

She Said Yes!


I am officially ENGAGED!!!

I sat at the table in some dinky, hole-in-the-wall (yet charming) restaurant in Camden, Maine this past June 3rd, my 35th birthday. I was with my mother, Elizabeth and niece, Angel. I had just had an (almost) 5 year relationship end....via text (May 26). I was distraught. Heartbroken. Sick. I felt so betrayed. Alone. Afraid. Confused. I remember sitting in this restaurant, moose heads on the wall, blinking neon beer signs, loud chatter.....with tears rolling down my face. The area under my eyes swollen from all my crying. I looked and felt --- rough. I wasn't eating or sleeping, without the help of adivan. I felt stuck in my skin. Like I couldn't escape this awful feeling.

So, I sat in this restaurant and remember saying, "I am suppose to be engaged by this time next year." I felt like a brick building was laying on my chest as these words escaped my mouth. Both my mom & Elizabeth said, "Who knows, you may very well be!" I rolled my eyes and said, "I wonder where I will be on my next birthday?" I had already given into the fact that my upcoming holidays would be the worst of my life (birthday, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day etc.,) ---- little did I know what the universe had in store for me.

That summer I survived my heartache by hanging out with friends and family. Making new friends. Watching Jersey Housewives over and over on Bravo. Going to Colt State Park every day and walking for long lengths with my dog. Reading books. Playing with Tarot cards. Going to therapy and..........going to my psychic, Liz.

Towards the end of June Liz told me:

"You are going to meet a woman with medium length, dark, wavy hair. She will have dark eyes. I hate to say it, but she will also be a Virgo. She will have an issue with her hip and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. She will also seem very familiar to you."

I "met" Jennifer Walsh, my fiance, the end of August via Match.com. We met in person for the first time on her 37th birthday, September 16, 2011 and became an "official" couple on Sept 30, 2011.

She matched Liz's description perfectly. Even the hip issue, which she "somtimes" has due to NF.

Jennifer is IN LOVE with me. I am IN LOVE with Jennifer.

I am not fullfilling any other need in her life except being a loving partner and vice versa.

I did not (and do not) need someone to "take care" of me or "fill a void" or "play a role"......I simply need someone to be truly, madly, deeply IN LOVE with me, and guess what? Jennifer is.

She treats me like a queen. I treat her like a queen.

I am her priority. I am her best friend. Our chemistry is off the charts, hot.

She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She is extremely loyal and committed and such a beautiful person, inside and out.

I once thought I saw LOVE in someone's eyes, but I now realize what I most likely saw was NEED in that person's eye's. I was "loved" while I was "needed" and then discareded when I no longer served a purpose.

When I look at Jen, or feel her gaze from afar, I FEEL HER LOVE. Her love for me SHINES from her eyes. Her smile. The way she says, "I love you." --- I can SEE it in her eyes. I can HEAR it in her voice.

This is honesty.

What a breath of fresh air.

THIS is true love.

Love that has YOUR best interest at heart.

Jen came into my life at a crazy time. I was still healing not only from a painfully cruel breakup, but also painfully cruel treatment from my ex throughout the summer.

She didn't care.


She told me that she "wasn't going anywhere".........she was with me during the healing process.

She witnessed the harassing emails and false accusations. She saw the hurt in my eyes and complete shock and dissapointment.

She also saw me grow stronger each day, until, I could finally say I am over that painful situation and talk fondly of my ex. She was with me through all of that.

I knew Jennifer Walsh was the woman the universe intended me to marry by the end of October.

I just had to buy a ring and come up with a romantic spot to "pop the question"........the universe still working hard for me, led me to HOTEL DE GLACE (The Ice Hotel) in Quebec, Canada. As luck would have it I was able to set up a review for my blog, Gay Travel Information. The kind woman, Sarah, reserved one of their SUITES for me the Sunday before Valentine's Day, February 12th.


























Could this be any more perfect, I thought?

Hotel De Glace, although ARCTIC COLD, was surreal....beautiful......magical......and provided memories to last a lifetime.

I THANK GOD....THE UNIVERSE....for allowing me the opportunity to experience some a MAGICAL place and having Jennifer Walsh by my side.

I waited until we were in our suite and asked Jennifer if she would become my wife.


Her eyes said yes even louder than her heartfelt, emotional yes in the silence of our room.





Jennifer Walsh is my fiance.

I am a lucky, lucky woman.

As of now it looks as if the date is going to be Sunday, December 30th. A nighttime ceremony.

What a difference 8 months make. I would've never thought I would've been proposing to this amazing woman, in an ICE HOTEL in Quebec, Canada the weekend before Valentine's Day. Never thought.

Karma is a beautiful thing.

Some of my favorite quotes have always been:

"Never make someone your priority while remaining their option."

and...

"I love her because she smiles at me and means it."

Wow.

Wow.

Oh, and by the way.....my holidays were amazing.

Each and every one of them.

1 comment:

Jennifer Walsh said...

I knew that you would one day propose to me. We have already talked about how we wanted to get married. I just did not know when you would propose or where you would do it. Yes, you did surprise me. If my tear ducts were not frozen, I am certain I would have drowned us with tears of joy.

The year before I met you I remained single. I tried meeting new people and even went out on some dates. I knew this time I would not settle in a relationship. I wanted to find someone who would see me for who I am and love me for everything that I am. I wanted to have someone fall head over heels in love with me and I wanted to be head over heels in love with her. I wanted to find a best friend. I wanted passion and chemistry. I wanted someone who would make me her priority and I would do the same for her. I wanted a relationship that included absolute trust and honesty. I knew I was asking for a lot, but I was done with settling. I was done with just having some of the ingredients. This certainly was a tall order to fill and I had high expectations.

I am the one who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
We are going to have such a beautiful like together.
The future is going to be beyond amazing with you by my side.

I am so thankful to the universe for making our paths cross because you clearly are the one I have been waiting for my whole life.

I wait with all kinds of anticipation and excitement for the moment when we are pronounced wife and wife.

12-30-12
XOXOXO