The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth.

I had dinner with my ex, April, last night to celebrate her birthday (she is 38 and I am 35). As always, it was a great time. We laughed, talked, laughed some more, reminisced and just enjoyed that time we had together. For a second I had an out-of-body-experience and realized THIS is who I am. The type person who is best friends with her ex. An ex that I may have inadvertently hurt, but an ex that knows my heart and respects the decisions that had to be made.


I also got to thinking how April NEVER complained one time about her 1 1/2 hour commute to/from work (10+ years, mind you) -- because, as she said, she knew "I was at the other end."  It was "all worth it" she would say. This put a huge smile on my face and made me feel warm inside.

That is the person I am. Someone worthy of THAT.


I then thought about my new "friend", Jen, and how she seems to see the real me without much effort on my part. She has shown me such kindness and support in the short amount of time knowing her, that I am completely blown away.


I though about my friends and my family and felt (feel) so lucky to be have such love and support around me.

Especially my mother. Yeah. I have the best mother - hands down.


I will never, for as long as I live, be able to understand how something that was once so beautiful and cherished could turn so ugly and vile. How the truth can be twisted into anything BUT the truth. This is foreign to me and something I will never be able to do. You can hook my body up to a lie detector machine. If nothing else, I am honest --- to a fault. I have been on the receiving end of some vicious emails attacking my character and dignity. I tried so hard to take the high road and not respond to (most) of them. Do you know how HARD that is? How HARD it is to not respond to false accusations that are disgustingly inaccurate? Do you know the amount of stress, pain and hurt that causes a person? This is called cyberbullying/cyberstalking and it is a SERIOUS offense. Especially in the state of Rhode Island.


I have decided to protect my character/dignity and do what needs to be done because I KNOW THE TRUTH. I know all the false accusations being made about me, and I am ---- done. I am done with the pain. I am done being attacked. I should not have to defend the truth. The truth, just is. It is always proven. I can prove the truth - no problem.


What I will never be able to get over is the shock and pain over having this done to me. By adults. By someone I loved and cherished.


But you know what?


If you treat people like they don't matter, don't be surprised when you no longer matter to them.