Interesting

A friend of mine just sent this to me. Fascinating.

Re: What is it you, as a Non Borderline, most want/need to understand about BPD?


« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2009, 05:54:11 PM »
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gabfwb wrote:

Is it typical for a bpd to become hard and fast friends with someone they barely know? In turn this new found friend is just as important to the bpd as someone they have known all their lives. Why is there no distinction? Do you agree that this could be very risky behavior?

A.J. Mahari wrote:

I don't know that I'd use the word "typical" but it is very common. It has to do with the whole issue of idealization and devaluation which comes about through the defense of splitting. If the person the BPD is closest to has been split to all-bad = devaluation then it is not uncommon that many with BPD will latch onto someone else quickly and idealize them as all-good. The reality of this more or less instant "connection" with someone else is that it won't last either because at some point that person will disappoint or disillusion the borderline and will be devalued also. There is no distinction, largely because the borderline is very young emotionally - like 2 or 3 years old really and they are (whether they know it or not) looking for a rescuing "mommy" figure (gender doesn't matter) and someone through whom they can feel they exist. To the borderline in this primitive neediness - anyone will do, as long as there is someone. It is also an avoidance of being alone and of being or feeling re-abandoned.

It is absolutely risky behaviour.

 
-Des