Putting My Foot on the Brake

I am sitting across from my fiance. My beautiful, loving, kind, perfect-match. An admirable, honest, hard working, ethical, beautiful soul of a woman.

For whatever reason the universe thought it would be interesting if my path crossed that of my ex today and you know what? The universe is right. It was interesting. It said so much.

Some people never change. It is obvious that is the case with my ex.

As I was on the phone talking about my wedding (lol) my fiance, Jen, happened to look across at the car passing and noticed my ex and her "friend" who, let's just say, was rather affectionate.

This friend made eye contact with Jen and smothered my ex with disturbing motherly, err, friendly kisses. As I hung up the phone Jen said, "Um, I think that is ____ and _____." I laughed and said, "No way!" I sped up just a bit to confirm this and...yup....she was right. It was them. I laughed out loud, put my foot on the brake and let them keep driving on.

It was in that moment that I realized just how far I had come and how much I had been put through prior to meeting the amazing woman sitting by my side.

People break up. Relationships end. If you are a mature, respectful, honest person, you should be able to split in an amicable way. I was tortured so much this summer I ended up going to the police to file a report.

The police.

Me.

To file  a report against a woman I had onced loved and a stranger that doesn't know anything about me.

The filth and lies that were spread about me and my character were alarming, and quite honestly, scary. I was afraid for my safety and sometimes still feel that way.

I am at a place of pure happiness and contentment right now.

Seeing my ex today made me realize just how much this person is still the same and how much craziness I had to deal with.

As I put my foot on the break and watched them drive past, I felt freedom.

Freedom from the insanity that is SO NOT MY LIFE ANYMORE.

Ahhh.

Smile.

BIG SMILE.

I am sitting across from my gorgeous fiance who is, among other things, SANE.

SANE.


SANE.


SANE.


THANK YOU, GOD.

There are no games. No lying. No cheating. No deceit. No hiding. Nothing weird or off about our relationship.

We are two healthy, happy women in our 30's enjoying our lives together.

Jen explained to me the "look" in my ex's "friend's" eyes as she started to kiss her. She said it was wildly insane looking. I just nodded, laughed and said...."yup" ....Now someone else witnessed the insanity.

The ugliness of cruelty.

I treated my ex with nothing but love because I loved my ex. I loved her the way a healthy, normal person would love another. This seemed "abnormal" to her.

Normal = Abnormal and Abnormal = Normal.

I was nicknamed "the saint" for many reasons. When I would finally "erupt" and voice my anger or hurt, which I can count on one hand, I was made to feel "needy" and "too emotional".

What I was put through this summer would make people cringe. The emails I have saved. The emails I traced. The reports made to the cops. The harassment from a woman close to my mother's age and an ex I loved dearly.

Scary to say the least.

Scary that peole are capible of such cruelty.

Scary that people can believe their own lies.

Scary that lies to some people become reality.

Scary that people can look others in the eyes and pretend to be one way while living a lie.
Scary the lack of class these people have.

I told the cops that I would hook myself up to a lie detector machine, that is how honest I was being.

I showed them text messages from both myself and ex, showing the hurt and anger I was feeling.

I had no shame. Nothing to hide.

I was told I was actually "too nice".

So today as my ex laughed and "got affectionate" with classless married, err, "friend".....I put my foot on the brake.

I put my foot on the break with a smile.....

I held onto my fiance's hand and said, "Now you know."


I held onto my fiance's hand and said, "I am so glad you got to witness that."

I had such an overwhelming feeling of love for Jen at that moment.

I love this woman more than I have ever loved anyone else and I am FINALLY loved back in the way I deserve.

The way I deserve.

I deserve Jennifer Walsh and she deserves me...and you know what?

My ex deserves her "friend"....they seem perfect for each other.

Yeah. I put my foot on the brake.

I put my foot on the brake as I continued (and will continue) to keep moving forward.