Thank you Minivan Mom

Tonight is one of those nights where I feel like I have SO much to write about. I want to sit and write about my partner Melanie's march today to stop Human Trafficking here in Rhode Island. I want to write about the way the wind is blowing outside and how it reminds me of the many times I have had the privilege to fall asleep, with a window or screen door open, next to the ocean. The breeze sounds like swaying palm trees, but with temps in the 40's I am reminded they are not . I want to talk about how cool of a mother I have and how lucky I am she is not only my parent but my friend. I want to talk about how lucky I am to be such close friends with my ex April. I want to write about how desperate I am to make new friends and socialize more and what a struggle this is for someone like me since I am somewhat of an introvert with an extrovert's longing. Yeah, I am feeling "deep" tonight. Emotional. So much I want to write about and yet with one simple visit to More Than a Minivan Mom's blog, I found what I am compelled to write about as it hit a chord in my heart. Minivan Mom has a bit of a "girlcrush" on another blogger. The object of her admiration makes me only like Minivan Mom more.

Here is an excerpt from Minivan's blog:

Occasionally I come across a person who so impresses me, who encapsulates qualities that I wish I possessed, who demonstrates the person that I like to think I am, even though I know in my heart that I'm not quite that smart, that cool, that talented. And when that happens? I get a bit of a girl crush.Right now? I'm crushin' on Stacey at Is there any mommy out there? She's a former lawyer turned SAHM (stay at home mom)/blogger, and she is just so smart and cool and hip and happenin' and her husband just resigned from his job so that they can go live on a tropical island for 3 months. Typing that out, I realize it seems a little crazy.Only it's not.If you're in the mood to live vicariously through someone, head over to her blog and read all about it.

Seems like Minivan Mom and I have something in common. This is the type person, type relationship I too admire. Life is short. Life should be about love and family and LIVING. What good is life it is not LIVED? As this family clearly shows on Is there any mommy out there?, family should always, always come first.

The presidential candidate who will be getting my vote is Obama. You know why? Not only because I agree with his policy, and quite frankly his demeanor more, no, what grabbed my soul is when I read he had given up campaigning during these critical last few weeks to be by his ailing grandmother's side in Hawaii. If it costs him the election he just doesn't care. Family comes first. Wow. Obama has completely changed any doubts I may have had. THAT is the type leader I want. Something as simple, yet profound, as that.

Melanie used a great quote today, which forgive me honey, I can't exactly remember, but it had something to do with THE ONLY EVIL IS GOOD PEOPLE DOING NOTHING. I so agree with this but probably in a different way my Melanie does. Mel wants to save the world and is driven to do that. I want to save my personal relationships above everything. My partner, my family, my pets and eventually (if I am blessed to have them), my kids will ALWAYS come first. To an extent, screw the world. They are my top priority. To me the only evil is good people not realizing what they have in front of them. Does this make me less a person than Melanie? Of course not. This makes me Desiree as Mel's drive makes her Melanie. One quote - two different interpretations. This isn't saying I feel Melanie would put me, our kids, pets, family and friends second. I have too much faith in her to ever believe that, I just think we look at the quote differently. I want to help save the world too, but at what cost? Some people sacrifice everything. Family, children etc., because their first love is activism. I would sacrifice everything because my first love is ----- love. I wouldn't think twice about missing a day at work if my partner needed me. I wouldn't think twice of taking that last minute vacation to help my partner distress. I wouldn't think twice of staying up all night and talking with someone who needed me, even if it meant I paid the consequences the next day. I wouldn't think twice about who gets most of my time.

There are a lot of things I am NOT good at. I am the first to admit it. But one thing I am proud to say I am darn good in is partnership. My partner, my family, friends etc., ALL COME FIRST. I give 110% of myself to the person/people I love. I will do anything for those people who love me, the way I love them. I would drop everything. Proof is in the way I live my life. Anyone who knows me will remember me as ALWAYS traveling. At this point in my life, with a partner who is unemployed, in college, and soon law school, I am unable to. I have bills to pay and a business and house to run. I cook and clean. Take care of our pets. Run errands. Work. There is no time for self indulgence. Melanie is worth it. Do I miss travel? Oh God yes. I cry sometimes I miss it so much. Does this mean I won't travel at all? Of course not, but not in the manor I am use to. Again, my partner and our little life together comes first. I am not financially rich. I am a travel agent. But as I have said in the past, I am emotionally rich. I say this because I, for the first time, am truly in LOVE and love comes first above everything.

Since being with Mel I have gone from a semi insomniac to someone who falls asleep most night by 11pm. I have gone from someone who liked to dine out 3-5 times a week to someone who dines out maybe 1-2 times a week. I have gone from a "food delivery" type girl to a cooking fool. I have always enjoyed cleaning, but it is a different cleaning I do now. It's that "I am running a house" type cleaning. I use to travel 12-15 weeks a year and now, if I am lucky 3-4 weeks out of 52. A big difference to a travelholic like myself. My point in writing all this is simple: I don't just talk the talk I walk the walk. THIS RELATIONSHIP COMES FIRST TO ME. Everyone says people don't change. That is false. I am proof. If you have a reason to change - you will.

Anyway, I am in one of my rambling moods tonight! :-D I think it is time for me to end.

Thank you Minivan Mom for proving to me I am not the only person that finds people like Stacey admirable. That made me smile big and daydream that I too will be as lucky as she is.

-Des