Love is.....

A year ago, this week, my partner and I were in Destin, Florida celebrating the 4th of July. Thanks to my mother's (continuous) generosity we were able to take a (much needed) road trip down to one of the most beautiful places on earth - Florida's Emerald Coast, particularly - Destin. I remember Melanie being so mesmerized by the blue/green water and snow-white sand. She couldn't wait to get in that water and I couldn't wait to watch her (I had my monthly visitor..lol). I remember sitting on that beach feeling pure happiness. Being with the woman I love, in a place I love, this opportunity given to us BY the LOVE of my mother. I was happy. I had a new job with Liberty Travel lined up. I felt good about life. Hopeful. Melanie and I had such a good time on this trip. We enjoyed each other's company. We laughed, had fun - it was truly romantic. We were so into each other. You can feel how important each was to the other. This contributed greatly to the happiness I was feeling.

I remember feeling so overwhelmed with wanting to show Melanie everything this area had to offer. We dined at some great beachfront locations. Walked on the beach at night (even though there was a case of "red tide" and we were among a huge ass amount of dead fish - woah), shopped, went to the beach - and fell deeper in love with each other.

I think it is important to keep falling in love with your partner. That should never end. There are all different layers of love. The second you stop "falling in love" with your partner - that is when the relationship should end. Luckily I keep falling in love with Melanie.

Relationships aren't easy. It is a continuous two way street. Each person has to give enough of themselves to the other or the relationship becomes "un-even" and things get messed up. Feelings get hurt and trouble arises.

I am a romantic. I love to provide romance AND receive romance. I am not talking about private yachts and champagne (although if I had the money....lol), I am talking about things as simple as writing a blog confessing your love for the other. Leaving romantic notes. Buying someone a stuffed squirrel. Music mixes. Passionate kisses. Surprises. The little things in life that make the other know, "Hey, I am in love with you."

Melanie likes to kiss my foot. It is a small little peck, but it is done with such love I can just feel it. She also likes to kiss the top of my head and rub my lower back before she leaves for work. It is usually accompanied by an "I love you". Sometimes she will pounce on me and hug me for dear life. Sometimes she will "purr" as only Melanie can.

I like to hold Melanie tight. I like to snuggle and push her hair from her forehead and kiss it. I like to rub her back and arms and wrap my legs around her. I like telling her I love her and "be safe" a million times because I would die if anything happened to her. I like seeing Melanie relax and laugh. I feel a deep sense of satisfaction when I know I provided that for her.

Melanie and I have this chemistry that goes beyond explanation. It is a gift and I treasure it, as I am sure she does.

We can't take the other for granted. We can't lose sight of how lucky we are to have someone who loves us "the way we love them". It is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day of life and forget the things that matter most. To me it is love and human interaction. When these two things aren't up to their "top levels" I am thrown off. I like joking with Melanie by telling her she has "spoiled me for life" with her affection. I need that type affection now like food and water. It's as simple as that.

Every relationship has ups and downs and sometimes more downs than ups -- but a healthy relationship should have a constant flow of these simple ingredients:

• Respect
• Kindness
• Appreciation
• Affection
• Togetherness
• Romance

We all go to school for our degree in "something" - but how many of us "master our relationships"? I joke about this, but there is something to be said about the person that TRULY "gets" their partner. That graduates TOP OF THE CLASS in Desiree 101 or Melanie 101. Plus, it's fun to be "teacher's pet" with each other! :)
Some things I would teach in "relationship class" are:

1. Always put your partner first

2. Always make time for your partner in a genuine manor

3. Always respect your partner above all others. If your partner is calling you and you are on the other line, put THAT person on hold to see what your partner wants. If you are in the middle of a conversation with a friend/co-worker, interrupt that person to call your partner and inform them you will be late. Your partner and his/her feelings should matter above all others.

4. Make time to have fun, laugh, talk, be silly and appreciate the other each day.

5. Truly talk and listen to the other.

6. Never make the other person feel like a chore or something you have to squeeze in.

7. Never talk about "sacrifices" you had to make for the other. Love isn't about sacrifice - it is about love. You don't think - you just do.

8. Never call each other negative names/terms. This is a horrible cycle to get caught up in and it never ends up good.

9. Each person knows their partner's "below the belt" areas - NEVER GO THERE. That is the ultimate disrespect.

10. Never try to change your partner or anyone for that matter.

11. Never take the other for granted. Love is a gift and it can be taken away.

12. Make time for romance. Serious romance.

13. Make time for romance. Silly romance.

14. Be each other's best friend. Learn everything about the other.

15. Realize the two of you have differences and accept that.

16. Never compete in arguments. That never works. Be willing to throw in the towel once and while and give in to the other.

17. Don't patronize.

18. Don't roll your eyes at your partner.

19. Don't point your finger at your partner.

20. Don't throw things like a squirrel looking for nuts

21. Never lose sight about the things that attracted you to your partner originally and what made you fall head-over-heels in love with them. Remind them of these qualities, often.

22. Bring out the BEST in each other.

23. TRUST each other.

24. Be HONEST with each other.

25. Never stop kissing each other. Truly kissing.

26. Realize we are all human and make mistakes. Be willing to forgive and understand where the other person is coming from.

27. Never leave the other without saying "I love you".

28. Never talk bad about your partner to friends or family. You will forgive each other but they might not.

29. Make sure the people in your life respect your partner.

30. Fall in love with each other on a daily basis. Think of one thing about the other you couldn't live without. Respect that person and again, never, ever, take "true love" for granted.

Anyway,

Today I leave you with a video by Alanis Morissette called "Everything". This video is so simple yet beautiful. I found it quite moving. Really listen to the words (I also have them listed below).

Everything lyrics

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind

I can withhold like it's going out of styleI

I can be the moodiest baby

and you've never met anyone Who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.

I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.

I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen

And you've never met anyone Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part

You see all my light and you love my dark

You dig everything of which I'm ashamed

There's not anything to which you can't relate And you're still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking

My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating

I'm terrified and mistrusting

And you've never met anyone as, As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part

You see all my light and you love my dark

You dig everything of which I'm ashamed

There's not anything to which you can't relate

And you're still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I knowW

hat I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known

I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known

I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known

And you've never met anyone Who is as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything (you see everything), you see every part (you see every part )

You see all my light (you see all my light) and you love my dark (and you love my dark )

You dig everything (you dig everything)

of which I'm ashamed (of which I'm ashamed)

There's not anything (there's not anything) to which you can't relate (to which you can't relate) And you're still here

(You see everything, you see every part)

And you're still here

(You see all my light and you love my dark)

And you're still here

(You dig everything of which I'm ashamed)

(There's not anything to which you can't relate)

And you're still here...

And this video is for the love of my life, my "bambi" - I love you.

Peace,
Des