BEWARE: Fucking bad language ahead

Let me start this blog by saying what fucking seagull fuck-face, fuck is shitting on my head???

I burnt myself with Zeno (http://www.myzeno.com/). I fucking burnt myself with this zit zapping mother fucking, fuck face of a device.


Sure, I didn't follow the directions but what the fuck? So you try to get rid of a 32 year old's fucking zit (which in itself is crazy) by melting the poor fucker's face?

I was in my daze with this fucking device so much so that I kept doing it thinking it would magically make my blemish dissapear. Not so. When I looked in the mirror I freaked out!

I am not happy at the moment. In fact I feel like screaming, crying and shitting. Maybe a combination of all three. I feel like a crazed fucking squirrel.




Allow me to explain....

I am writing this blog as my A/C apparently thaws out. It is NOT producing cold air at all and when I touch it, it feels frozen. Yeah. Fucking, fuck crap fucks of the world.

I have the shits this morning like I ate a truck load of fucking splendor and sunrise/sunshine what ever the fuck the name is, chips. You know what I'm talking about.

My stomach currently hurts like, oh I don't know, let me use the word - FUCK.

And did I mention I BURNT MY FUCKING FACE WITH FUCKING ZENO?

B.U.R.N.T. my face.

This is return caused Mel and I to miss an Indigo Girls concert at The Newport Yachting Center, 5th row, yesterday night and dinner reservations at The Newport Blues Club. If ever I longed to see a fucking Mullet.


Fucking mother fucking seagull fuck face.

And if one mother fucking seasgull fuck face says I shouldn't let a "fucking burn" stop me from doing something I am going to send a rabid squirrel to fucking shit on their fucking ass.

Sigh.

I feel like I am having the worst IBS attack in ages. Could it fucking be the fucking brownies I had that my mother, bless her fucking soul, made with GOD KNOWS what health crap???? Mayonnaise doesn't sound so fucking healthy to me. Apple sauce? God knows what the fuck I ate.

OH, and then I had broccoli, asparagus, squash, cheese and olive oil yesterday.

Just shoot me in the fucking face right now. Please. For real. Or at least the fucking ass.

My head is throbbing. My ass is throbbing. My stomach is throbbing. My shoulders hurt. My neck is stiff. My soda is flat. My A/C isn't working --- OH AND I HAVE A FUCKIN EXPLODED/ 1/2 ass healing, burnt by fucking zino mark on my chin.

I have a job interview Wednesday for a possible $50,000 a year job. Who is the sick fuck doing this to me now (I just felt nauseous - I may have to run to the bathroom and shit some more...).

Did I also mention I think I am a "gender queer" (I didn't make that name up that is the real name). I saw some show the other day about some fucking girl who likes to dress as a boy and identifies as a fucking gay boy but obviously likes girls. Yeah. She likes to strap in her boobies at times but doesn't want to "be" a guy. She doesn't really identify with being a "girl" or a "boy" and she doesn't want to go to the gynecologist. That's me. Fuck you all. Fuckers.

Anyway, Mel is lovingly making me rice in the kitchen -- maybe as a going away gift because she knows I am "this" close to being put away somewhere with padded walls.

I don't know. I will end for now and write more in a bit.

Fuck you Zeno.

Fuck Peace,

Desiree