The BEST Road Trip Mix for Driving Southwest Highways!

Possibly the BEST Road Trip Mix ever:

1. Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin



2. Slow Ride - Foghart



3. Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult



4. Juke Box Hero - Foreigner



5. Highway Song - Blackfoot



6. Wheel In The Sky - Journey



7. (Don't Fear) The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult



8. Long Cool Women (In a Black Dress) - The Hollies



9. Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits



10. Peaceful Easy Feeling - Eagles



11. Listen to the Music - The Doobie Brothers



12. Long Train Runnin' - The Doobie Brothers



13. Amie - Pure Prairie League



14. Ramblin' Man - The Allman Brothers



15. Take it Easy - Eagles



16. Rockin' Down the Highway - The Doobie Brothers



17. Jet Airliner - Steve Miller Band



18. Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo - Rick Derringer



19. Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum



20. Roadhouse Blues - The Doors



21. La Grange - ZZ Top



22. Barracuda - Heart



23. Strangehold - Ted Nugent



24. Layla - Derek, Eric Clapton & The Dominos



25. Rock'n Me - Steve Miller Band



26. Pinball Wizard - The Who



27. (Ghost) Riders in the Sky - The Outlaws



28. Jamie's Cryin - Van Halen



29. Magic Man - Heart



30. Crazy On You - Heart



31. Burnin' For You - Blue Oyster Cult



32. Hold The Line - Toto



33. Cold As Ice - Foreigner



34. Urgent - Foreigner



35. Love is Like Oxygen - Sweet



36. Double Vision - Foreginer



37. I Want it All - Queen



38. Renegade - Styx



39. Truckin' - The Greatful Dead



40. Heart of Gold - Neil Young



41. Fortunate Son - Creedance Clearwater



42. Paint it, Black - The Rolling Stones



43. What's Your Name - The Allman Brothers



44. Already Gone - The Eagles



45. Honky Tonk Women - The Rolling Stones



46. Sweet Home Alabama - Lynard Skynard



47. Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen



48. Trampled Under Foot - Led Zeppelin



49. Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple



50. Back in Black - AC/DC



51. Hell's Bells - AC/DC



52. Let It Go - Def Leppard



53. You Got Me Runnin' - Def Leppard



54. Lady Strange - Def Leppard



55. Mirror, Mirror (Look Into My Eyes) - Def Leppard



56. Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac



57. Gold Dust Women - Fleetwood Mac



58. Oh Daddy - Fleetwood Mac



59. The Guitar Man - Bread



60. Sister Golden Hair - America



61. Feel Like Makin' Love - Bad Company



62. Peace of Mind - Boston
    

HIT THE OPEN ROAD -- LIVE YOUR LIFE -- EXPLORE

-- SPREAD KINDNESS -- BREATH DEEP -- APPRECIATE!

Excerpt from 'A Whole New Mind'

Excerpt from A Whole New Mind
By Daniel Pink

INTRODUCING THE SIX SENSES In the Conceptual Age, we will need to complement our Left brain-Directed reasoning by mastering six essential Right brain-Directed aptitudes. Together these six high-concept, high-touch senses can help develop the whole new mind this new era demands.

1. Not just function but also DESIGN. It’s no longer sufficient to create a product, a service, an experience, or a lifestyle that’s merely functional. Today it’s economically crucial and personally rewarding to create something that is also beautiful, whimsical, or emotionally engaging.
2. Not just argument but also STORY. When our lives are brimming with information and data, it’s not enough to marshal an effective argument. Someone somewhere will inevitably track down a counterpoint to rebut your point. The essence of persuasion, communication, and self-understanding has become the ability also to fashion a compelling narrative.
3. Not just focus but also SYMPHONY. Much of the Industrial and Information Ages required focus and specialization. But as white-collar work gets routed to Asia and reduced to software, there’s a new premium on the opposite aptitude: putting the pieces together, or what I call Symphony. What’s in greatest demand today isn’t analysis but synthesis—seeing the big picture, crossing boundaries, and being able to combine disparate pieces into an arresting new whole.
4. Not just logic but also EMPATHY. The capacity for logical thought is one of the things that makes us human. But in a world of ubiquitous information and advanced analytic tools, logic alone won’t do. What will distinguish those who thrive will be their ability to understand what makes their fellow woman or man tick, to forge relationships, and to care for others.
5. Not just seriousness but also PLAY. Ample evidence points to the enormous health and professional benefits of laughter, lightheartedness, games, and humor. There is a time to be serious, of course. But too much sobriety can be bad for your career and worse for your general well-being. In the Conceptual Age, in work and in life, we all need to play.
6. Not just accumulation but also MEANING. We live in a world of breathtaking material plenty. That has freed hundreds of millions of people from day-to-day struggles and liberated us to pursue more significant desires: purpose, transcendence, and spiritual fulfillment. Design. Story. Symphony. Empathy. Play. Meaning.

These six senses increasingly will guide our lives and shape our world. Many of you no doubt welcome such a change. But to some of you, this vision might seem dreadful—a hostile takeover of normal life by a band of poseurs in black unitards who will leave behind the insufficiently arty and emotive. Fear not. The high-concept, high-touch abilities that now matter most are fundamentally human attributes. After all, back on the savannah, our cave-person ancestors weren’t taking SATs or plugging numbers into spreadsheets. But they were telling stories, demonstrating empathy, and designing innovations. These abilities have always comprised part of what it means to be human. But after a few generations in the Information Age, these muscles have atrophied. The challenge is to work them back into shape. (That’s the idea behind the Portfolio section at the end of each chapter.

This collection of tools, exercises, and further reading materials will send you on your way to developing a whole new mind.) Anyone can master the six Conceptual Age senses. But those who master them first will have a huge advantage.

So let’s get started.

-Des

FYI

Am I crazy for wanting to "talk" with someone at 12:37am because I feel so alive with conversation and thought? I am craving conversation. Laughter. Interaction. Even if only for 5, 10, 15 minutes. I can't shut my brain off. I want to "goof off" with someone right now. I want to be silly and serious at the same time - this very second.

Instead, my only company is the pain eating away at my insides. The best way to describe it is an extreme hunger pain mixed with a lump in my throat, tight chest and burning eyes fighting back tears.

I hear the clock tick, tick, ticking away.

I would love to hear another human's laughter.

-Des

Plato: Favorite Quotes

• At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. Plato

• Attention to health is life greatest hindrance. Plato

• Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Plato

• Courage is knowing what not to fear. Plato

• Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet. Plato

• You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. Plato

• Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others. Plato

• Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge. Plato

• Life must be lived as play. Plato

• Love is a serious mental disease. Plato

• Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the Gods. Plato

• People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die. Plato

• The good is the beautiful. Plato

The Curse of Loneliness

The connection between two people is the greatest gift there is. If you are blessed to have a solid connection in your life. One true best friend. You are a lucky, lucky person.

To have that type of daily interaction is unlike any other feeling. A sense of security. Trust. Understanding and pure joy.

To enjoy the little things throughout the day with another person is simplicity at its best.

We all need that sort of connection for survival.

Loneliness Quotes:

• "The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved." - Mother Teresa.

• "Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for." - Dag Hammarskjold

• "Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is." - Unknown

• "Alone, all alone nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone." - Maya Angelou

• "Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye named, not good." - John Milton
  

Some interesting facts about lonliness:
Loneliness is not necessarily being alone. We may be alone for long periods without feeling at all lonely. On the other hand we may feel lonely in a familiar setting without really understanding why. The best way to begin to understand loneliness is to examine some of the ways people experience it. You may feel lonely when:

• you’re alone and you don’t feel you have a choice not to be

• you feel that you’re lacking attachments you had in the past

• you are facing changes in your life such as a new job, or other changes

• you feel there’s no one in your life with whom you can share your feelings and experiences in a true sense

• your self-perceptions are that you’re unacceptable, unlovable, not worthwhile even if others don’t share those perceptions
  

What To Do About LonelinessThe alternative to viewing loneliness as a defect or as an unalterable personality characteristic is to recognize that loneliness is something that can be changed. It is also important to know that loneliness is a common experience.

According to a recent national survey, one quarter of all adults experience painful loneliness at least every few weeks. Loneliness is neither a permanent state nor “bad” in itself. Instead it should be viewed more accurately as a signal or indicator of important needs that are going unmet.
You, or anyone, should take action when important needs aren’t being met. Begin by identifying which needs are not being met in your specific situation. Your loneliness may result from a variety of needs. It may involve the need to develop a circle of friends or a special friend.


One thing I know is that the loneliness I have felt/feel will do nothing but motivate me to help other people who are going through this. That will be one of my crusades in life.



Give of yourself to others. Be a true, good friend. There is no better feeling.

-Des

Guitar Loving Cat, Aww!

Watch Guitar Loving Cat and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Chattering Cat 500,012 and 3/4!

PISSING MY PANTS!

Chattering Cat Video # 100,483 and 1/2

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just Because I Love Squirrels!

The Dancing Chihuahua Video Sweeping the Universe!

The Road To Happiness Starts Now!

As many of you know I have made the decision to start the next chapter of my life. I have decided to become a 'Life Coach'. No, I am not giving up my travel business, that will always be my # 1 focus. Being a life coach will be my 2nd career and something I feel equally passionate about and, quite honestly, feel is a calling.

What IS a life coach? A life coach has a genuine, personal caring about others, and the desire to help people feel and get better.

To be a life coach, you do not need to have a background in psychology, therapy, or counseling, or any related field.

As a life coach you are focused on teaching various forms of cognitive processes, such as "relationship training," "Psychological assessment skills," "personal insight training," and "life-path counseling."

A life coach is trained to ask the right questions, keep the client focused, allow the client to determine his or her own path, and support and motivate the client to reach the specific goals that will help them reach their objectives.

The # 1 quality a life coach should have is a genuine concern and compassion for people. It is basically "paid mentor" position.

Here is a sample of questions that a person should ask themselves before wanting to become a life coach:

1. Other people look to me for support and wisdom, plus they like to share their dreams and challenges with me.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

2. I am able to temporarily set aside my needs and goals in the interest of helping others meet theirs.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

3. Building rapport and developing a meaningful connection with others comes easily and quickly to me.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

4. I appreciate how every individual is different and enjoy helping people find their own unique solutions.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

5. Others tell me I am a good listener and comment on my abilities to be non-judgmental and non-critical.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

6. I have a strong sense of values and act with integrity in both my personal and business life.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

7. I have good instincts and intuition that I rely on to guide me especially in times of challenge and great stress.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

8. I am not exactly where I want to be in life but I feel relatively balanced and I am consistently working on my own personal growth.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

9. Being an independent professional in my own practice and in business for myself satisfies one of my major life goals.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree

10. I am prepared to dedicate myself to learn as much as I can about coaching and I am willing to invest in myself to receive the proper training and experience.

-Strongly Disagree
-Disagree
-Somewhat Agree
-Agree
-Strongly Agree


So, how did I do? :)


Way to go, Desiree!

Out of a possible 50 points, you scored 50. You're right on course.

Chances are you've already been doing some coaching and just haven't called it that. The good news is you can now begin being paid for what seems to come natural to you. You can now take the steps to become a professional coach.

Yes, I think this is a definite calling in my life.

Since a young child I have always had this desire to be "for the underdog". I always wanted to help people out. I sincerely care about how others feel. I am passionate about gay & lesbian issues and self image issues as well as taking time in life to "stop and smell the roses." I have this DESIRE to share this with other people. It is something I just have to do.

Sample of area I will be specializing in:

• GLBT Youth / Coming Out Issues


• GLBT / Coming Out Later in Life


• Self Image / Eating disorders


• Abusive Relationships


• Self Confidence Issues


• Entrepreneurial Skills / Women in Business


• The Importance of Travel / "Stopping to Smell the Roses" / Enjoying the simple things in life

I, by all means, am not a perfect person. No one is. However, I do feel extremely passionate about the above topics and feel I could be a valuable coach in these areas.

Here are some definitions to further explain.

What is life coaching?

The life coaching process is the only human improvement process that focuses completely on YOU! Life coaches are equal partners who assist you to improve and grow as a person as the means to achieve your goals. Life coaches assist you to become the World's Leading Expert on YOU! Coaches also assist you to execute the actions necessary to achieve your goals. You will have virtual control over the results you achieve through coaching, because you set the coaching goals, and the coaching process assures that you will achieve them.

Why hire a life coach?

You hire a coach to achieve your personal, spiritual, family and business Coachable Goals, much more effectively, more efficiently, more completely, with more fun, and in less time than any other human improvement process. Life coaches assist you to: overcome obstacles and fears, focus on solutions, have someone to bounce ideas off, no matter how silly they may seem, discover truths about you, and how you can improve, accomplish more than you thought possible, and achieve balance in your personal, work and family lives. Your coach will UNLEASH YOU, to become the person you always wanted to be and were capable of becoming.

Personal coaching

Personal coaching is a relationship which is designed and defined in a relationship agreement between a client and a coach. It is based on the client's expressed interests, goals and objectives.

A professional coach may use inquiry, reflection, requests and discussion to help clients identify personal and/or business and/or relationship goals, develop strategies, relationships and action plans intended to achieve those goals. A coach provides a place for clients to be held accountable to themselves by monitoring the clients' progress towards implementation of their action plans. Together they evolve and modify the plan to best suit the client's needs and environmental relationships. Coaches often act as human mirrors for clients by sharing outside and unbiased perspectives. Coaches may teach specific insights and skills to empower the client toward their goals.

Clients are responsible for their own achievements and success. The client takes action, and the coach may assist, but never leads or does more than the client. Therefore, a coach cannot and does not promise that a client will take any specific action or attain specific goals.

Professional coaching is not counseling, therapy or consulting. These different skill sets and approaches to change may be adjunct skills and professions.

I haven't been this excited about anything since the start of Out & About Travel in 1999.

I will keep you all updated on this process and thank you for your support! :)

Love,

Desiree

Swooning Over Vintage Muscle Cars!

I feel like a boy right now. Not that girls don't swoon over this stuff too, but the way I am swooning over these vintage muscle cars is how I would assume a teenage boy / young adult swoons!!

I have always loved Jeeps (Cherokee, Wranglers) etc., --- that is my car of choice, along with Audi's and Nissan Altima's, BUUUUUUUUUT....my fantasy car will ALWAYS be one of these "muscle" cars from the late 1960's / early 1970's.

The Dodge Charger & Dodge Challanger are my favorites.

I share with you now some of these beauties.

Picture it if you will, driving in one of these on a cross country road trip. Southern rock / country / rock-n-roll playing. Guitar in the back seat. Your partner riding shot-gun, maybe your dog --- sun shining ---- gorgeous scenery and a kick ass car. Love it!

HAHAHAHA, I CAN'T STOP!

This is the best yet...too funny!

Chattering Cats # 2

Another YouTube Video! LOL! How cute is this??? I could watch this stuff forever...lol.

Chattering Cat Video # 1

I found this on Youtube. This should make anyone laugh! LOL!

There's gotta be someone out there???

Okay, so this may come across as a desperate plee, and maybe it is! :)

If any of these things match you then you MUST, muuuuuuuuust befriend me....lol.

I am in desperate, ::red alert::, need of new friends. Help a girl out!!

I am self-employed and work at home which doesn't allow me the opportunity of meeting new people. I am not into bars or corny clubs (i.e. book, garden) or things like that (sorrry..lol).

What am I into? What do I like? What do I stand for?

• I love to travel. I've had a love affair with travel since - forever. But I am one of those laid back, but not TOO laid back type travelers. I love road trips and exploring America. I have been to 42 states. I like making music mixes to match the states I am driving through. I love taking pictures. I love stopping at weird/off-beat attractions. I love cute, roadside restaurants. BBQ shacks. Beach side shacks. Theme restaurants. Mom & Pop type places. Diners. I love doing touristy AND non touristy things. I am not into backpacking, camping or not showering for days...lol. I love nature but am not "one with nature". I love staying at hotels. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, although if there is a "special deal", why not? ;) No, I am happy with Holiday Inn Express, Hampton Inn's, Marriott's, Hilton's etc.,. I get excited when I cross the state line and visit a "welcome center" to load up on brochures. I get excited when the scenery changes before my eyes. I get excited when I see turquoise blue water. Snow white sand. Red clay mountains. Desert landscapes. City landscapes. The great plains. I love National Parks. Scenic drives. Approaching thunderstorms and a darkening sky. I don't mind stopping a million times to pee. I don't mind changing plans last minute. I am easy going and adaptable.

• I love to laugh! I am not a very serious person. I am not a nutcase either, I am a mix of both crazy/silly leaning more toward the crazy/fun side. I love making people laugh and having someone make me laugh. I find the most mundane things funny. The only kind of humor I don't find funny is that which makes fun of someone else. I don't like laughing at someone else's expense, unless it is my own, of course! :)

• I love music! I have been playing guitar and writing songs since age 11. I am 32 years old now. I am mostly into country/acoustic/rock/dance type music but love pop, hip-hop, alternative, swing, rockabilly, etc., too! I love all kinds of music. My music taste ranges from Indigo Girls, Girlyman, Alison Krauss, Ditty Bops, Jimmy Buffett, Dierks Bently, Brad Paisley, Toby Keith, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Reckless Kelly, Cross Canadian Ragweek, Zac Brown Band, 3 Doors Down, Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Kanye West, Britney Spears, Lady GaGa, Justin Timberlake, Kelly Clarkson, etc., etc., -- I think you get the idea!

• I believe in kindness. I am have absolutely zero tolerance for rude people. I will go out of my way to be nice to someone and only ask the same in return. I find it much easier to be kind and respectful to someone than not. I am completely in touch with my emotions and love sharing them with others. I am all about hugging, laughing, smiling, opening up about feelings, deep conversations and the power we each have to make someones day.

• I love to talk! I don't mean like someone who goes on and on and doesn't shut up. What I mean is that I have absolutely NO problem opening up about feelings and laying everything on the line. I think the best therapy in life is talking. The best medicine is talking. I can sit around a table (or anywhere) and talk for hours. It just feels -- good.

• I love taking pictures! I can literally take hundreds of pictures in one day. I have been known to get "picture taking finger" from snapping too many pics. I actually hurt myself once! All for the love of the picture! ;) lol! I love capturing moments and feel that you never know when that perfect picture will come out so keep snapping away. With that said, I respect boundaries and will never take a picture of someone that doesn't want their picture taken.

• I love the holidays, watching TV, cooking, having people over the house and socializing! I am one of those people that get supper excited about the holidays. Decorating the house. Having holiday parties. Watching special holiday shows on TV. Talking and making jokes while watching shows on TV...lol. I love everything from Superbowl Sunday to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I love watching the Oscars, Music Award shows, reality shows, morning talk shows, Travel Channel shows, Food Network shows, anything to do with the Paranormal (Ghost Hunters, Paranormal State) etc.,. I truly get excited about things like 4th of July BBQ's, making Christmas cookies, Halloween parties / haunted houses, Christmas Eve dinner, Labor & Memorial Day BBQ's --- I get excited about this stuff! :) I love sharing this excitement with others. Cracking jokes at the shows on TV, cooking/baking together, planning parties together. I need a friend to get into this stuff with me!? :)))

• I put my family and friends first! I love to work, don't get me wrong. I am a hard worker, but work with ALWAYS, ALWAYS come second to living life and being there for my family and friends. I don't care about awards, the amount of money I make, owning a fancy house, driving a fancy car, owning fancy clothes. I don't care about titles. I don't care about ANYTHING like that. What I care most about is my personal relationships and the love I give and receive. In the end the only achievement that will matter is the love you gave and received in life.

• I love animals! I love all kinds of animals. There is not one kind of animal I don't like. With that said, fish do gross me out a bit as do snakes and bugs! :)

• I don't care about your "status" in life! I don't care what schools you went to. I don't care what your GPA was. I don't care if you are lower, middle or upper class. I don't care how much money you have. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care if you are rich or poor. All I care about is if you are a KIND person. If you are CARING. COMPASSIONATE. UNDERSTANDING. Those qualities are what matters in life. If you are kind to me -- I will be your friend forever.

• I do care about people accepting all walks of life! I don't like judging someone based on weight, income, sexuality, religion etc., I believe everyone has the right to be who they are. We are all different and should embrace these differences. What a boring world we'd live in if we were all alike? :)

I could go on and on but I think this pretty much "who I am" up.

I don't care where you are from (I live in Rhode Island). I am looking to make friends from all over! :)

I know there is a shot in a million someone will respond to this, but you never know. I don't know how else to make new friends at this point in my life. There has to be somebody out there, reading this, that shares some of the same interest. Take a chance on me! Get to know who I am! :) You can reach me on this blog or at travlgrrl@aol.com.

I have no shame in doing this! I am truly lonely and in serious need of some new friends.

Go ahead....make my day! ;) ;)

Peace,

Desi

Some inspirational quotes for your enjoyment! :)

• We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. -- Winston Churchill

• And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.-- Abraham Lincoln

• "What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?" -- Jean Jacques Rousseau

• "Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom." -- Theodore Isaac Rubin

• "Humanitarianism consists in never sacrificing a human being to a purpose." -- Albert Schweitzer

• "You have not lived a perfect day...unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you." -- Ruth Smeltzer.

• "Our lives are fed by kind words and gracious behavior. We are nourished by expressions like 'excuse me' and other such simple courtesies...Rudeness, the absence of the sacrament of consideration, is but another mark that our time-is-money society is lacking in spirituality, if not also in its enjoyment of life." -- Ed Hays

• "The best portions of a good man's life,His little, nameless, unremembered acts,Of kindness and love." -- William Wordsworth

• Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing. -- Harriet Braiker

• A successful person is a dreamer whom someone believed in. -- Unknown Source

• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -- Oscar Wilde

• Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity. -- Carl Jung

• The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. -- Victor Hugo

• Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given. Author: Mother Teresa

• Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

• You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. Author: Plato

• Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are. -- Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve

• Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. -- Franklin P. Jones
  
  

F-FLU!!!!

Ah, spring! Time for longer days, blooming flowers, cute little bunnies, baby chicks, warmer temps.....and the flu. THE FLU????? Yes, the @&#!*^#!&#^# flu!!!!

I know that is seems like every time I blog I have one crisis or another going on. Well, that is because.....I usually do!! Not that I am complaining. I have grown rather use to it. I find it humorous and at least it gives me something to complain, err, blog about! :)

Case in point: This nasty flu.

What is one of the first things you do when you get sick? You start thinking, WHO GAVE THIS TO ME???? You get into attack mode, as if that will make it all better. As if the person who "gave" you the cold has some miraculous powers to take it back. This time I am pointing the finger at my mom!!!

My mother is (::knocks on wood::) one of the healthiest people I know. She is the type that can yak one minute and sip a beer/eat pizza the next. Nothing knocks her down. Until THIS cold/flu. I knew I was doomed last week when I was trapped in the car with her on the way to lunch. Yes, lunch. I can barely put my underwear on when I am this sick and she was out & about doing her "thing".


Her coughing sounded like something from the movie, Aliens. At one point she sneezed 10 times in a row. Not covering her mouth/nose once, mind you. Yah. Since my mouth was wide open from the horror, I am sure I sucked in a few virus bugs.

Have you ever seen that movie, 'Fools Rush In' with Matthew Perry & Selma Hayek? Why not? lol. Well, part of the movie is paying attention to the "signs" around you and how they can shape your destiny. I should've known I was doomed when a couple of weeks ago I randomly picked up the 'Providence Journal' and saw, on the front page no less, 'LATE FLU OUTBREAK HITS RHODE ISLAND'. I remember shuttering and thanking God I didn't work in a school or hospital. Surely THOSE were the ones that would get sick, not I! ;)

Little did I know the storm was brewing in me mum, ol' mother, da mama, MA! Who (of course) lives next door to me and who I see, pretty much, every day.

It starts out with a VERY BAD HEADACHE. You then start to feel slightly achy and tired. Then my mouth got excessively dry and POW! Before I knew it I was shoving tissues, nasal spray and anything else that MIGHT help, up my nose.


My mother has been sick since April 3rd/April 4th. I have been sick since April 11th. The kind of sick where you get a collection of soup bowls in the bedroom. Empty juice bottles tipped over. Kleenex everywhere. Medicine wrappings on the floor. Chapstick caps here and there. A stack of pillows to raise your head. Ahh, lovely, lovely, loooovely.

I have blown my nose so much my ribs hurt. I haven't smelt anything in 5 days (having 3 cats and a dog, some may see this as a blessing). Everything taste like snot. Don't say EWWW, you know what I am talking about - you've been there...lol.

The sun is shining outside my window and temps, by the end of the week, will be close to 70. I feel like a ghost staring outside hoping no one sees me. I HAVE TO GET BETTER! My partner, Melanie, who is graduating the University of Rhode Island, has several thousand award ceremonies within the next month I would like to attend. I have trip planning to do for our big summer road trip. I have my mother's birthday coming up. Melanie's graduation party. I hate feeling trapped!


Some may say, TOUGH IT OUT WOMAN! GO OUTSIDE! LOOK AT YOUR MOTHER! GO INFECT THE WORLD! I say to them.....screw that! The only way you will get my ass outside is if I can walk from one room to another without a tissue protruding from my nose. When/if that happens I will GO OUT INTO THE WORLD again. I do feel this sense of rage to infect others. JUST KIDDING, relax. Come here, let me sneeze on you.... ;)

Anyway, this cold has taught me to appreciate just how damn healthy I have been. This cold really knocked me off my feet. I am still floating and can't wait to touch the ground again.

On a side note not too much has been going on this winter. I was lucky enough to go on a 4 night trip to Key West with my mother in February and have been growing my business, Out & About Travel, thanks to Twitter, Facebook and hopefully this here blog. One of the benefits of being sick is all the time you get to spend inside, on the computer. I was able to update lots of Out & About Travel's web site and get a strong following on Twitter. I even started a Gay & Lesbian Travel Social Network.


I will try and blog more frequently. My hopes is to post a cool travel web site (or deal) each day. We'll see how that turns out.

I am looking forward to the 2 1/2 week road trip Mel and I will be going on May 31st. This year we'll be hitting up destinations such as Charleston-SC, Destin-FL, New Orleans & Lafayette-LA, San Antonio-TX, Carslbad Caverns-NM, White Sands National Monument-NM, Albuquerque-NM, Santa Fe-NM, Amarillo-TX, Route 66 and many mid west states on our way back home. VERY EXCITING and much needed.

It is time to end this blog as I am in need of a Sinex fix, chapstick application and good blow job. Sorry, but it's true.

Until next time!


WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!

-Des :)

Social Networking Addict!

Hey everyone!

My ventures have lead me to Social Networking Land and there is no turning back.

You can now find me on:

• Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/gaytravelpros
• Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=48153058727&ref=ts
• Photoblog: http://travelgirl.photoposts.org/index.php?showimage=16575
• LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/gaytravelpros
• GayWallet: http://www.gaywallet.com/profile/DesireeSousa
• Bebo: http://www.bebo.com/DesireeS090

I have also started a new Gay & Lesbian Travel Social Network for Out & About Travel. You can check it out (and join) here: http://www.mygaytravelnetwork.com.

I will be writing a detailed blog about what has been going on soon. Currently I am battling an awful cold and trying to stay sane in the process! :)

I hope all is well.

-Des

To catch up..

I spend my "free" time blogging and "stuff" on facebook.

Friend me! :)

Rock on, Ashlee!

I knew there was a reason I really liked Ashlee Simpson. I love they she spoke out in defence of her sister. We need more people like this around!

Ashlee Defends Jessica's Pants, Waist
Says Headlines About Sister's Weight Are 'Embarrassing and Belittling'

(Jan. 28) -- In a blog post titled "Since when did a woman's weight become newsworthy," Ashlee Simpson is lashing out against the recent media coverage of her sister Jessica's physique and wardrobe.

Ashlee says she is "completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight," saying it is "embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News." She argues that just a week after the inauguration, such coverage only diminish the " feeling of hope in the air for our country."

Going on, Ashlee says that "all women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard." Speaking directly to the media, she asks: "Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it."

Ashlee ends her arguments with concern for the kids, saying that teenage girls are going to have respect issues "in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure."

-Des

January update

It sure has been awhile since my last post!

Between all the pain of my tooth/gum infection (that I thought was due to wisdom teeth) and holiday madness it has been a crazy couple of months.

Tooth update: It is not the wisdom tooth. It is tooth # 18 (back molar). It took 2 months and 2 dentists to realize this. Sigh. I have to either a.) get a root canal or b.) get the tooth out. I am going for "b" BECAUSE it is waaaaaaaaaay in the back and no one will ever know and when/if my wisdom tooth comes out - there will be room. I am not looking forward to have it removed on Jan 29th - BUT - I will be "under" and it is only a 20 minute procedure and then this whole ordeal will FINALLY be over. I just wish dentists weren't one of my BIGGEST fears, but good oral hygiene is a must, so alas, let it be.

I enjoyed having Melanie around for her college winter break. We didn't really do anything that special beside spend time with each other (which is special enough) and get aggressive with the gym. Melanie has been so amazing during this whole "mouth" ordeal. She was a very supportive, loving partner. I love her so much. She gave me so much strength (as did my mother and Elizabeth). I don't know what I would do without them.

I have also been going to therapy once a week and love my therapist. I am finally with the right one. She is a wonderful, kind, understanding woman with a heart of gold and just talking to her and receiving advice helps so much. This is a big step for me and it feels great.

I have reconnected with old friends which has ignited a spark back in my soul that was so needed. It feels great to socialize more.

My trip to Iceland didn't work out but my mother and I are taking a trip to Key West Feb 2-6. I can't wait for that! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO needed. This travel agent has been "travel deprived" for way too long. I am looking forward to that warm Florida sunshine and turquoise water.

Work is well. The pets are good. Yeah...for as crazy as things are...life is good.

Hopefully I will be better with blogging once my tooth issue is finally done and my life falls back to its usual routine.

I hope everyone is doing well! :)

Melanie - January 09

Moi - January 09

Peace,

Des

Fun with photos

Value your relationships

Today I was going through some old pictures and it dawned on me that yes, it's true! If someone is a real friend they will always be your friend. You can go years without seeing each other and then reconnect and it feels like you were never apart.

Recently I have reconnected with some long lost friends and it felt just like that. The same respect, humor and ease were all there. The compassion, understanding and encouragement. Whether it be through email or face-to-face, it felt/feels like "old times". What an amazing GIFT.

I feel so blessed to have these people in my life. As a 32 year old woman I know how valuable TRUE friendship is. How valuable relationships are. I am so blessed to have several friends I consider family. I am so blessed to be with the love of my life. I am so blessed to have loving "mamas". A brother who cares for me. Family that I know would always be there. I love my pets. I love my job. I love to travel. I love my guitar. I love music (the list can go on and on).

Sure it is in my nature to always strive for something more, as I am sure it is with most people. I want to see and do it all, but that real, true sense of happiness is being happy in the moment. Where you are...at...this...moment. There are a lot of things I am working on and I have a long way to go before I feel complete, but one thing I know is that I am a lucky person to have so much love and kindness in my life.

For all of you who have been there for me (and continue to be), who have made me laugh, held my hand through the tears, never turned your back and believed in me even when I didn't, THANK YOU. I love each and every one of you and thank God you are in my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any of you.

ALSO....

On the flip side of all this, it can sting when you realize someone isn't the person you thought they were. Someone you may have considered a friend really isn't. Doesn't act like one in the least. This too is part of life and a learning lesson. You need to get rid of toxic people who aren't good for you and don't have your best interest at heart. No, that is not some Hallmark card, that is truly my advice, as corny as it may sound. We all know and have these "friends" that pop up out of the blue and then vanish again. Why? What is the point? Maybe they are fishing to see if there is some "drama" going on in your life and when they find out there isn't -- they lose interest? Who knows. It's sad. It's shocking. It's life. You live, learn and move on.

As Jimmy Buffett says, "Breath in, breathe out, move on."

These are pretty much rambles from my mind this evening...lol. Something a little more deep than jackalopes and squirrels! ;)

The point? Hmm..the point is to say THANK YOU to all those "real" people who are in my life and genuinely care about me. I feel the same for you! And also to offer advice to cut out the people who aren't "real". You know who they are. What purpose do they serve?? Wish them well and bid farewell.

Be sure to hold dear and value the people who have your best interest at heart.

Love,

Des

High Tolerance

Before I head off to bed tonight I have to just say I am absolutely amazed. Friggin, *#^!*^#&!^# amazed at my tolerence for medicine (hopefully I won't curse myself). Right before Christmas I started having trouble with my wisdom teeth, or so I thought. I went to the dentist and they discovered that I had a gum infection and that it was "probably due to my wisdom teeth coming in." I had to wait until January for my dental insurance to kick in before going to an oral surgan so I could take a panorama xray.

Since the middle of December until now I have been taking: 4 ibuprofen every 4 hours, penicillin every 6 hours and vicodin every 4-6 hours. Whatever infection I have, well, it must be bad because ALL that medicine did NOTHING to quell the pain. Today, after my visit to the oral surgeon, it was confirmed that I do indeed have a bad gum infection and that the problem is NOT because of my wisdom teeth. He put me on Amoxicillin and Percocet. Finally something seems to be working, BUT, even with the percocet and the fact that my gums slightly feel better, I can STILL feel the pain in the background. I have NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER experienced such pain in my life (and trust me, I have been through a lot).

Anyway, the point of this "note" is that I am completely freaked out by how much medicine I took between yesterday and today. I have always been one to take Tylenol for headaches, antibiotics for infections and over the counter stuff for "whatever". I am a firm believer that if you can take something to fix something - go for it, but yesterday was just plain SCARY. I must've taken 30+ ibuprofen's in 24 hours and 6+ vicodens. ALL THAT and NOTHING quelled the pain. I don't know how I made it to this point. Every time I would take more ibuprofen I thought I was going to kick the bucket so to say. I was scared but the pain was THAT unbearable - it was worth the risk. Scary, huh??????

With all that medicine in my system I found what worked best was breathing deep, staying focused on breathing, talking down the pain to myself, standing up and walking and every once and awhile screaming like a roomful of infants. I keep telling myself that THIS WOULD PASS. I would get through this.

Support also helped. Melanie was the best partner. She stayed by my side, pretty much, during this whole ordeal. She checked on my constantly. She ran our errands. She cooked. Took care of the "kids" (our pets) and most importantly, just sat and hugged me. She rubbed my back, kissed my forehead and wrapped her arms around me. She assured me it would be okay. I believed her. That is always the best medicine. I was also lucky to have the support of my family and friends.

To make matters worse when I went to the oral surgeon today -- I FELL. Yup. I slipped and fell down the steps. Ouch. I had that mix of "pain, tears, laughter, swearing, pain, laughter and shame" mixed into one. As I walked down the hall, rubbing my ass and feeling crazed, tears (mixed with laughter) filled my face. I took a deep breath and regained control. Hey, at least the pain medicine I had in me worked for SOMETHING...lol! ;) That was the cherry on top and yet -- I made it through. I am writing this now. I survived.

Yes. I learned I have a very high tolerance for pain. For medicine. I feel I grew as a person through all this pain and agony. I learned a lot. We all find strength inside when we need it. Even when you think "this is it" and you "can't take no more"--- you do. You push through. I pushed through. I made it. I am not even 5% better than yesterday, but learning as much as I did and feeling the love around me --- I feel better than ever.

-Des

What a nightmare!

Ugh. I had an awful dream last night. I dreamt my top row of teeth were falling out. It was so vivid and scary. I woke up with a dreadful feeling inside and remembered that dreaming of teeth is one of the most common dreams a person can have. I instantly went to the computer and looked up its meaning.

Here is a summery of what I found:

When one dreams of their teeth falling out it can represent feelings of loss of control, helplessness or powerlessness. The dream is typically acting as a mirror of a situation in waking life. Dreams of tooth loss coupled with anxiety reflect a fear of change, fear of transition.

Sometimes tooth loss dreams point to a fear of failure or embarrassment. In waking life, when people lose teeth, they often cover their mouths when talking or smiling. Is there something you want to do but are afraid of undertaking because you fear you'll look foolish if you fail?

Losing teeth in dreams can also point to insecurity about finances. In physical waking life, teeth are what we use to take in sustenance, to keep our bodies fit and nourished, and they are often lost when malnutrition is present. In order to take in nourishment we must be able to 'support' ourselves. Are you worried that you will lose the ability to take care of yourself or are you already not taking care of your needs? Nourishing ourselves comes in many forms, not just our bodily needs--we must nourish our minds, spirits, and hearts as well as our bodies. Is there any aspect of your life that feels like an empty hole?

Tooth loss dreams may also symbolize a fear of abandonment, of being left behind with no recourse. Look at your relationships and see if any of them are leaving you with feelings of insecurity.

A dream about one's teeth falling out usually means and symbolizes that the dreamer is having a hard time or a challenge getting their voice heard, their ideas acknowledged or feelings responded to.

This may be conversations with a particular person such as their partner, boss, or friend; or can be generalized for people who are shy, to include almost everyone they come in contact with. The dreamer needs to brush up on conversational skills, believe in the value of their own opinion, learn how to be less intimidated by aggressive people, and become more assertive and make their voice heard. Once they do that, this dream (which is a common recurring dream) should evolve & show improvement...or disappear altogether.

You communicate your ideas and feelings via your mouth. Those ideas are very important to you when still in your mouth or still not said but once they leave your mouth they are not valued... they are seen as being worthless. One dream meaning to teeth falling out is that you feel your thoughts, emotions and opinions are not being valued or even heard.

Wow.

Very, very interesting.

Everything the dream represents is something I am currently going through.

I recently started therapy and it is getting me to "open my eyes" to a lot of situations in my life. Situations about insecurity, self image and relationships.

I do NOT feel secure about transition. Appearance. Having an empty hole in certain aspects of my life. I do feel unheard. I do have abandonment issues. I do feel insecure about my finances.

Simply amazing.

I warned my mother the other day that Jan-April is going to be a VERY hard time for me. More so than ever. This is the first year I don't have several vacations planned for the winter. Vacations help me succeed at work (I am a travel agent). They help me relax. Breath and enjoy life. It is my passion. I simply can't afford to travel.

I am not the biggest fan of dreary, cold, gray, rainy days and Jan-April brings lots of these. I don't think I am clinically depressed but I do know my body craves the sunshine and warm weather more than ever during this time.

In my brain, there aren't many "good" thoughts going on.

Some things I have to "look forward" to are:

1. Getting my wisdom teeth out / general dentistry work (one of my top fears is the dentist).

2. Getting a 2nd part time job somewhere where I am 99% sure I won't want to be.

3. Not traveling.

4. Recession effecting my travel business.

5. Lack of "secure" finances.

6. Long, cold, dreary winter.

7. General health issues.

I hope this doesn't come across as complaining. I am just writing out the things that consume my thoughts lately. The stresses I wake up and go to bed with. I have never been in a situation like this and feel so alone with it.

Anyway, I will do my best to stay positive and hopefully therapy will give me the strength I need to make the changes that need to be done and get through any tough times ahead.

I am very grateful for therapy, reconnecting with old friends, my family, pets and most importantly, my partner Melanie.

I am not blind to the GOOD that is around me. In the same respect I am not blind to the bad as well. Oyie.

Hopefully my next blog will be waaaaaaaaaay better! ;) ;)


Des

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

M.I.A.

So I know I haven't been posting in awhile. I hate that! Sorry! It seems as if any free time I have online lately is spent on Facebook. You can befriend me if you'd like. E-mail travlgrrl@aol.com and I will send my full name! :)

Pretty much the past couple of weeks have been spent finding a new (great) therapist, avoiding the gym (hello Jan 1st), trying to enjoy the Xmas season, wishing for snow (thanks weather gods), shopping, cleaning and dreaming of TRAVEL. Sigh. Sniff. It doesn't look good for travel. I just don't think I can comfortably afford it. I am pretty sure I can do the Mont Tremblant trip to Canada Jan 5-8 but I was hoping for a warm weather getaway, like Florida, for Jan 12-18th. I have credit with JetBlue but barely enough for my ticket. There are lots of great Travel Agent hotel rates available in Orlando and Fort Lauderdale and even Key West. Ugh. I guess I will just have to wait and see what my finances are like (and wisdom teeth) come the beginning of January.

I would give anything to fly down to Florida and spend 3 days in the Florida Keys. Just to feel that warm sunshine and see that turquoise water would do wonders for my mood.

This would be a piece of cake if I found a 2nd job. I am looking for a small part-time job to supplement my income and am having no luck. Most of my background is in the travel industry and running my own company. I think many places think I am over-qualified. I assure you, I'M NOT! LOL! I even applied at Home Depot for the love of God! Heeeeeeeeeeeelp. I just need something that will put some extra $$ in my pockets for weekly errands.

Other than that I don't have too much to report!

I am sure I will write more before Christmas BUT just in case I wish you all a HAPPY HOLIDAY!

Love, Des :)

Darn Facebook!

Okay, so I am currently a member of Facebook. I say currently because there is a very good chance I will shut down my membership because I get too addicted. But while I am a member it has become my, um, err, new favorite. My poor blog has taken 2nd place. I feel terrible! LOL! ;)

Nonetheless here is an interesting article my mother sent about becoming FEARLESS! I thought this was pretty great.

Tips For a Fearless Life:

Let yourself be afraid.

My favorite definition of fearlessness is this: the ability to remain soft and open, even under very difficult circumstances. Most often, fear causes us to shut down to our own and others' humanity. We just want to get away, but the quickest way out is to stay. If you can slow down a bit, you can see that fear rises, abides, and dissolves on its own. Allowing this process is the mark of the spiritual warrior. The coward turns attention toward fighting fear; the warrior accommodates it.

Try this: The next time you notice fear rising, whether it appears as anxiety, melancholy, or anger, stop, grab a piece of paper, and write one short sentence that describes your fear. Start with the words "I'm afraid...," then scribble the first thoughts that come to mind, without regard for grammar or rationale. It could be something such as, "I'm afraid to check my e-mail because I've already got too much to do" or "I'm afraid about an upcoming conversation with my boyfriend" or "I'm afraid I have cancer." Slowly read your words over three times. Take a full inhalation and exhalation after each reading. Avoid any attempt at amping up or toning down your agitation.

Text by Susan Piver


Ask for help.

I hate to fly. I hate it. Sometimes I even have panic attacks. I've tried all sorts of strategies to get over this--breathing exercises, visualizations, and Valium. None of these helped all that much. Here's what did: I told someone on the plane that I was afraid to fly, and he offered to get me a glass of water. That's it. To my surprise, I calmed down on the spot. I learned that getting someone to care about me, even for a moment, even if he or she is just pretending, calms me down. The truth is that 99% of humanity is good. When you are vulnerable, people actually want to protect you. When you know this, you can relax. The likelihood is that someone will be there for you.

Try this: If you notice panic rising, reach out to someone. You could strike up a little conversation with the person next to you. Or you could call a friend, write a letter, send an e-mail. You don't have to go into the whole story. You can say something like, "I'm having a hard day and thinking about you lifts my spirits..." If you don't want to communicate with anyone, make this request within yourself: "May this fear build a bridge between myself and others." The key is to counter the energy of fear, which spirals in and down to make you feel heavy and isolated, with the energy of connection, which spirals out and around, lightening the situation on all levels. Text by Susan Piver


Put others first.

Fear can cause you to ignore your authentic desires and put your life on hold. We want to avoid, retreat, and think what we want isn't possible or realistic. This doesn't hurt only you! Those who love you are also deprived. I know people often suggest putting yourself first, but just as often I find the opposite true. When I stop and remember who is in my life, why I love them, what they need, and how happy they would be made by my happiness, I find tremendous courage to face my fears. I'm doing it for us! My actions are rooted in love, not aggression--and loving others is a secret power source of fearlessness.

Try this: Ask yourself: "If I were to get past my worst fears, who else would be made happy?" If you can't think of one person who would delight in your delight, imagine the person you most admire sitting across from you. This person can be real or fictional, but when you think of them, you feel a great sense of encouragement. Write down each person's name and explain why he or she would feel happy if you conquered your fear. Text by Susan Piver


Cheer up.

This may sound facile and non-profound. But it's actually the opposite. In an essay called "Working With Early Morning Depression," Buddhist teacher Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche says, "There's always the primordial dot: that spark of goodness that exists even before you think. We are worthy of that. Everybody possesses that unconditioned possibility of cheerfulness, which is not connected purely with either pain or pleasure. You have an inclination: in the flash of one second you feel what needs to be done. It is not a product of your education; it is not scientific or logical; you simply pick up on the message. And then you act: you just do it."

Try this: The next time you feel shaky, pause. Say these words to yourself: "I could always just cheer up." And then cheer up. This actually works. It may only last for a few seconds/minutes/hours, but you can always try it again. Text by Susan Piver


Relax.

The opposite of fear is not dauntlessness, it's relaxation. The ability to remain open and mindful under all circumstances, no matter how uncomfortable, is a sign of amazing courage. When we're not able to maintain mindfulness, we lose track of what's actually going on around us. We confuse what we think is happening with what is happening. When attention is absorbed in fear, we're distracted from what is actually going on. Like remaining in the still eye of a tornado--as opposed to being swept away by it--fearlessness requires full, moment-to-moment attention and receptivity, two qualities rooted in relaxation.

Try this: The next time you notice fear rising, stop what you're doing. Draw attention inward. Where is the fear manifesting in your body? Fear can show itself in a tense jaw, clenched belly, shallow breathing, and so on. When you locate fear's position, simply relax that area. Let your jaw or stomach go or take a few deep breaths. This is meant to be a physical relaxation, not an emotional one. You don't always have to calm your mind to calm your body. It can work the other way around. Text by Susan Piver


Stop talking to yourself.

In Buddhism, there are several categories of suffering, one of which is called "The Suffering of Suffering," which is different from the normal suffering human beings face. We all experience loss and disappointment. But we increase our suffering when we develop complex stories about where it came from, where it's going, or whose fault it all is. I'm not saying we shouldn't be thoughtful about the events of our life, but at a certain point all that storytelling becomes counterproductive. Instead of analyzing your feelings, you can consider the counsel of American Buddhist nun Pema Chodron: "Feel the feeling and drop the story."

Try this: When you notice you're beginning to spin out, instead of thinking about your suffering, feel it. Notice where it resides in your body, whether it feels hot or cold, dull or sharp, speedy or spacy. You could even cry or stomp around. Be patient and let yourself feel what you're feeling as an end in itself. You'll be amazed at how much faster suffering resolves itself when you cut out the suffering of suffering.


Bring someone with you.

Here is an exercise you can do on the spot to calm real fear in real time.

Try this: Before you're about to do something scary (confront a friend, start a new job, ask for a date), imagine someone who would be proud or grateful if you took this risk. It could be a relative, a mentor, your inner child, or a historic or fictional character. Before you step into your scary situation, visualize this person by your side, holding your hand, or in your arms. Let yourself really feel their presence--and take them in with you. You're not alone, and there is strength in numbers! Text by Susan Piver

Time it.

When we're in the grip of fear, it seems endless. How long do you think fear lasts? You can actually do an experiment to see.

Try this: Take a look at your watch. Now sit down and conjure up one of your fears, but totally let go of trying to figure it out. Just connect with the feeling. Try to stay afraid for as long as you can. The very second you notice your mind starting to think about something else, stop and look at your watch. How much time passes before fear begins to pass? Text by Susan Piver


Listen to silence.

Sometimes it feels like we'd do anything to stop being afraid, even for one second. Well, you don't have to look far. In a fearful condition, the mind tends to tighten its grip on fear until you feel like you might explode. But here's what you can do instead: Stop focusing on anything in particular. Let your awareness become open and soft.


Try this: Bring your attention to whatever sounds are present. As I sit here, I can hear a car idling across the street, music coming from downstairs, and the rustle of my husband's newspaper. Let your ears take in all the sounds. All of them play against a background of silence; otherwise there would be nothing to hear. Tune your ear to the silence. Listen to what's in between or under the sounds you hear and keep your attention on that. You can always, always hear the silence, even if you're in the stadium during the Super Bowl. Take in the vastness of silence. This exercise is a way to cut into the flow of everyday discursive thought and connect instead with the mind of peace, which is always attuned to the largest possible reality.
Text by Susan Piver


Learn to meditate.

All the suggestions above are predicated on one thing: the ability to maintain mindfulness and awareness, moment to moment, as best you can. When you don't consciously focus your attention, it wanders randomly. Choosing what to focus on requires practice--the practice of meditation. Then it will be easier to put the previous suggestions into play. No matter which type of meditation you do, if you stick with it your ability to move through fear with confidence will get stronger and stronger. Text by Susan Piver