The Femme Tomboy

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Handy Femme!

Jen at her friend Jes's house being "handy" - lol!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Sunday, September 11, 2011

L.O.V.E. This Song!!!!

I am absolutely obsessed with this song! Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaziiiiiiing!!!! ;)

It is absolutely amazing how many people I meet that have an "Indigo Girls connection" with me!? Jen not only met them while at college in the 90's, she also attended the same Newport Folk Festivals I did in the 90's. Too funny!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Happy Birthday, Reed!

Happy 2 Year Birthday Reed Timmer Sousa!

Born: Sept 11, 2009

Dear Reed,

You came into my life shortly after I lost one of the best friends I ever had, Speck.

Speck was such a sweet, loving dog who was by my side for almost 15 years. I remember the night I lost Speck. I cried and cried and never thought I would have another dog I would love as much, boy was I wrong! I truly believe he had something to do with our paths crossing.

When I saw you Reed, it was love at first sight! I saw that scruffy little face of yours, all dirty and matted in that tiny cage, and knew that you were my baby.

My motherly instincts kicked in and I wanted to smother you with love! I gave you tons of kisses and nuzzled you on my neck.

Reed, we've been through a lot these past 2 years. You have been by my side continuously.

You have made me laugh, kept me warm and licked my tears away.

You touch everyone's life you come in contact with.

People can't get over how absolutely adorable (and funny) you are! You make me so proud.

I love you.

-Mom

Adele, 21

Adele 21 is a brilliant CD. Just saying.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Bad Dreams Suck Like Sour Milk!

I had the worst dream ever last night. Ugh. Kinda sets your day off in the wrong direction when that happens. It was a mix of EVERYTHING literally going on in my mind.

One of my friends recently taught me the difference between different diamond rings (I was curious- lol). It was quite an interesting lesson (who knew there were so many different cuts and 1 to 1.5 carats is the average for getting married- I always thought 3-5 carats but when she showed me one of THOSE rings I nearly died...woah....could break a finger AND the bank.....who knew?)

OKAY - so it was a mix of THAT experience (looking at rings) during an AWFUL storm where people I cared for got severely hurt and I was lost and blah, blah, blah -- UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice. REAL nice.

I blame this on the two Pepperidge Farm Double Chocolate Cookies I had when I got up at 2am! For whatever reason I couldn't fall back asleep until 5am and that is when I had this awful dream. They say when you eat a snack late at night you have weird dreams. Um...y'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.

Anyway, I listened to the thunderstorm, snuggled my puppy (who turns 2 years old on Sunday) and cursed the adivan that obviously didn't work last night..lol.

I just have that "feeling" inside today. Very unsettled. I hate when that happens.

I just have to tell myself, It was ONLY a dream, I am NOT psychic and cookies aren't to be avoided because of this! :)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Neurofibromatosis Awareness

Jen getting a tattoo in rememberence of her brother.

My friend, Jennifer, is doing a bike ride this weekend to gain awareness for Neurofibromatosis (NF).
She, her dad and brother all have Neurofibromatosis (NF1).

Her brother died on June 21, 2010 at the age of 33. For over 2 years he fought a deadly cancer from a malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor (MPNST). MPNST can happen to anyone, with or without NF, but it is more common for people with NF to develop this type of cancer than those without NF. He had several types of chemo, but they did not work. Jennifer made a promise to her brother before he died that she would keep fighting for a cure for NF.

Please click here to donate (every little bit helps!)

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-walsh-2/CoasttotheCure-BikeRideforNF

I'll be routing her on and know she will do amazing! :)

Falling is a pain in the ass!

So I finally put a new blind up in my bedroom. It has gone from 1/2 dented to very dented to ghetto-looking-hurricane-blown-hanging by a thread-dented. I felt very productive putting up my fall decorations as it was. Enjoying my squirrel colony, the smell of hazelnut candles, new curtains, prints etc., -- so being all "I CAN DO THIS" I proceeded to put the blind up. I used this small little ottoman stand to hoist myself up. Of course it wasn't as easy as it looked. I had to distort my body in a way that almost caused my breasts to protrude me backwards off the glass. Biting my lower lip, I scooched just a wee-bit-too-much to the left and --- FELL.

Twittershitter, it hurt!!!!

I looked like a crime scene with the way my left leg was layed out. All of my pets took off. I heard my Morman neighbors scuffle upstairs (but alarmingly there wasn't a knock, call or text...hmm...one more homosexual down I guess...?!)

Anyway, I popped back up as fast I could but now my ASS is friggin killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I may have to tiger balm my ass, which means everywhere I sit will be "stamped" with that balmy smell. Nice.

Oh, and I saved my sports bra from the bowels of the washing machine. I scraped up my arm a bit (jeez --- housework is dangerous), but it is alive and well.

Now people from around the world know this.

I can rest easy! ;)

Sweet Child 'O' Mine....lol!

Fajizzle Deefizzle!

Now this is a TRENDSETTER - Cat Walk Atire - Purr at THIS ladies & gents!

The perfect sweater for those

super self conscious days!?!?

*unisex*

Notice the plethora of purses and what the heck is that on the left shoulder??? A sock warmer? I think the person who decorated this "spidermaniquen" gave the birdy to the manager a few seconds later.

Just sayin....

Monday, September 5, 2011

Complete Randomness

My therapist recently had me start a journal. Me, never one to tire of writing about my feelings (lol), happily accepted this request.

I was shocked by what came out. It's amazing how feelings flow so easily (even for someone who doesn't have a problem with that in the first place) when someone genuinely seems interested.

You can always sense when someone truly enjoys your company. Loves listening to you and your stories (no matter how many times you repeat them..lol). Their face lights up, their focus becomes entirely about you. It makes you feel --- heard. Important. Alive. Understood.

I've been blessed with some new close friendships. Friends who I thought were friends have become sisters and strangers best friends.

I have always loved to listen to other people and show my genuine concern. I forgot what a wonderful feeling it is to share that with others who feel comfortable being vunerable with me. That trust is a beautiful feeling. They trust me and I trust them.

My therapist is one of these special people. It always moves me when she cries WITH me or gets up in the middle of a session to hug me or says she "missed me". I love that she LAUGHS at my humor. She gets me.

She, and my friends/family, have done SO MUCH for my self esteem this summer. I didn't realize how much it was broken. How much I was hiding inside.

A friend recently told me "I enrich her life." Another friend told me "I have a beautiful soul." Yet another friend complimented me on my looks. Wow. Who knew???

I've always been free with the compliments. If I think you are beautiful - I will tell you. If I like what you are wearing - I will tell you. If you have hurt me - I will tell you.

It's just who I am.

I love big. I hurt big. I forgive big. I laugh big.

I truly wear my heart on my sleeve.

I have yet another friend who is SO intuned to me that she calls me on days when she knows I am struggling with something. She just FEELS it - and calls. She hasn't been wrong once. It blows my mind the connection I have with people.

My ex, April, messeged me from her recent trip to Vegas. She thought of ME, her ex of almost 5 years, and checked in. She tells me she loves me everytime we hang up on the phone or see each other in person.

That means so much.

My mother and Elizabeth are two of my best friends.

My niece's eyes light up when she sees me. She runs towards me, screams "AUNTY DESI!" and hugs me.

My pets ALL sleep on the bed with me at night.

I have had some friends for over 25 years.

These are all reflections I have written in my journal.

I am no saint. I never asked to be and I never will be. I have done things I regret in life, but that is just it ---- I regret the things I have done that may have hurt others. I have been blessed to be surrounded by people who love me so much (and vice versa) that forgiveness is as easy as breathing.

As my therapist says, "You are an honest person D.S."

You know what?

I am.

So Proud of My Boy!

As if there was any doubt Dfizzy was my son...!? lol From the 2:45 time mark on this young man took the words out of my mouth. He may be "crazy" and "hyper" but this guy has a heart. I'm proud of "my boy"...lol.