Falling is a pain in the ass!

So I finally put a new blind up in my bedroom. It has gone from 1/2 dented to very dented to ghetto-looking-hurricane-blown-hanging by a thread-dented. I felt very productive putting up my fall decorations as it was. Enjoying my squirrel colony, the smell of hazelnut candles, new curtains, prints etc., -- so being all "I CAN DO THIS" I proceeded to put the blind up. I used this small little ottoman stand to hoist myself up. Of course it wasn't as easy as it looked. I had to distort my body in a way that almost caused my breasts to protrude me backwards off the glass. Biting my lower lip, I scooched just a wee-bit-too-much to the left and --- FELL. 

 

 

 

Twittershitter, it hurt!!!!

 

I looked like a crime scene with the way my left leg was layed out. All of my pets took off. I heard my Morman neighbors scuffle upstairs (but alarmingly there wasn't a knock, call or text...hmm...one more homosexual down I guess...?!)

 

Anyway, I popped back up as fast I could but now my ASS is friggin killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I may have to tiger balm my ass, which means everywhere I sit will be "stamped" with that balmy smell. Nice.

 

Oh, and I saved my sports bra from the bowels of the washing machine. I scraped up my arm a bit (jeez --- housework is dangerous), but it is alive and well.

 

Now people from around the world know this.

 

I can rest easy! ;)