Ode to Facebook!

Ode to Facebook.

When I first started Out and About Travel I was dealing with a lot of health issues. I had a lot of anxiety which would cause my stomach to be upset, which would in return, give me more anxiety. It was a catch-22 to say the least. I started Out & About Travel because I was unable to hold down a 9-5 job on someone else's watch. Oh, I tried. I worked at travel companies throughout Rhode Island and even a popular gay agency in Boston up on Beacon Hill. I thank God for the experience I gained from these jobs, but I also thank God I had the drive and ambition to start my own company. True, I had no choice. I had to make a living and since I couldn't hold down a 9-5 job, what else was I to do but go into business for myself?


But this isn't a blog about that. This is a blog about Facebook.

Throughout the late 90's and until the mid 2000's....I was very.....lonely. I had an amazing partner who was my best friend and was close to my family. I also had one or two friends I'd see here and there, but mostly it was me, my mom, Elizabeth, aunt and April.





April would leave the house at 7:30am and not arrive home most nights until 7:30pm.
During the day it was me, the pets and Out & About Travel.


I didn't have any co-workers. Nope. No office parties for me! No one to complain about a situation to. No one to help me out of a silly rut. I was the all aspects of Out & About Travel, and although I loved the freedom of being my own boss, and still do, IT WAS VERY LONELY but that was before web sites like MySpace and Facebook came along, than I no longer felt alone. Myspace and Facebook gave me access to the outside world. I interacted with people on a daily basis. Old friends, new friends...family. It was/is fantastic.

 

Facebook especially changed my life. I remember over the summer when my ex and I broke up. I had never felt a dept of loneliness until then. It was Facebook that made me feel connected and "not so alone". My friends were ALWAYS with me. I am not much of a phone person either. I express myself way better through written word or face-to-face. Facebook gave me the opportunity to express myself and get feedback, pats on the back and ego boosts that I so desperately needed. I had/have no shame spilling my heart to people. I am an open book.


I use to go to bed at night, tears rolling down my cheeks with my blackberry tucked under my pillow. I knew that at any point I could sign on to Facebook and be greeted by friends and family. Someone would have words of encouragement or offer to meet up with me, come over etc.,
 

Whenever my phone broke or I had issues with it, I would panic, and still do.


That is my lifeline. The computer. The phone......these are my lifelines. My connections to YOU. My friends all over the world.


Facebook has helped me with the loss of a pet. It has helped me through breakups. It has seen me enter new relationships. I have asked for prayers on Facebook. I have broken down on Facebook. I have shared jokes and raw humor on Facebook and confessed my love on Facebook. It is my way of SHARING my life with all of you. Staying "in touch" ---- "keeping tabs on each other"........When Jen and I entered into a relationship, we couldn't wait to make it "Facebook official" - lol.

Same with the engagement. We wanted to share this info with all of you and provide maybe a tiny ounce of excitement to you all.

 I have gotten tips on what to do when I am sick on Facebook. I have gotten "trash talked" on Facebook. I have been praised on Facebook.


The list goes on and on....


Just today, I lost all power and my cell phone had died. I had just enough left to post a message on Facebook seeing if anyone knew what was going on. An acquaintance, from Florida noless - lol - found out information for me and posted it. I would've seen this had I headed out to a cafe to do some work, but my power turned on and there was the message waiting for me. Wow. Thank you Betsy for taking time out of your day to help an acquaintance from Rhode Island! :)


So, going back to my 20's, I dealt with a touch of social phobia which was also tied into anxiety. The Internet allowed me to express myself, to BE MYSELF, in the comfort of my own home. Now, I am happy to say, I am extremely outgoing, always "out & about" and interact with people both online and offline but Facebook has played a HUGE part in this. It has re-connected me with amazing people. Friends from childhood. Family members.....it helped me get to know my fiance, Jennifer, better.


I love Facebook.


I love that my mother can keep tabs on what is going on in my life, and befriend all my buddies.






I love that I can interact with my fiances mom & dad online since I don't see them that often.






I love sharing photos and funny stories/adventures with people and receiving feedback.






I also feel like I am no longer alone during the day when I work.






YOU, my community of friends/family on Facebook, are my "co-workers".......I have the greatest fun with you all.






So thank you for being part of my life. Whether in person, online - or both.






I appreciate this amazing creation called - Facebook! ;)



Pretty Boy - My Desire to be a Gay Boy!

I haven't written about the "femme tomboy" thing in awhile.


For whatever reason it popped into my mind today that growing up I always admired "pretty boys".....I never looked at a woman and said, "Gee, I wish I looked like her." Now, when I do that I always say (jokingly), "If I was a girl I'd love to look like -- INSERT NAME HERE -- let's go with Katy Perry!" lol....but growing up, I always looked at guys and usually their hair cuts/style....and wanted to be like that. They were ALWAYS feminine men....sometimes more girly than girls themselves...lol.


Here is a list of "PRETTY BOYS" I have admired. These guys had SOMETHING...be it their hair, shape of body, sense of humor or talent I looked up to.

As a 100% gay woman, I find it very easy to admire qualities in men....especially "soft guys"......to me, these guys are beautiful.

Beautiful Post from my Jennifer

My girlfriend's latest blog post.... xoxoxo

http://enjoylifejw.blogspot.com/2012/02/i-am-engaged.html

Amazing Song....

Current song obsession....

She Said Yes!

I am officially ENGAGED!!!

I sat at the table in some dinky, hole-in-the-wall (yet charming) restaurant in Camden, Maine this past June 3rd, my 35th birthday. I was with my mother, Elizabeth and niece, Angel. I had just had an (almost) 5 year relationship end....via text (May 26). I was distraught. Heartbroken. Sick. I felt so betrayed. Alone. Afraid. Confused. I remember sitting in this restaurant, moose heads on the wall, blinking neon beer signs, loud chatter.....with tears rolling down my face. The area under my eyes swollen from all my crying. I looked and felt --- rough. I wasn't eating or sleeping, without the help of adivan. I felt stuck in my skin. Like I couldn't escape this awful feeling.

So, I sat in this restaurant and remember saying, "I am suppose to be engaged by this time next year." I felt like a brick building was laying on my chest as these words escaped my mouth. Both my mom & Elizabeth said, "Who knows, you may very well be!" I rolled my eyes and said, "I wonder where I will be on my next birthday?" I had already given into the fact that my upcoming holidays would be the worst of my life (birthday, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day etc.,) ---- little did I know what the universe had in store for me.

That summer I survived my heartache by hanging out with friends and family. Making new friends. Watching Jersey Housewives over and over on Bravo. Going to Colt State Park every day and walking for long lengths with my dog. Reading books. Playing with Tarot cards. Going to therapy and..........going to my psychic, Liz.

Towards the end of June Liz told me:

"You are going to meet a woman with medium length, dark, wavy hair. She will have dark eyes. I hate to say it, but she will also be a Virgo. She will have an issue with her hip and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. She will also seem very familiar to you."

I "met" Jennifer Walsh, my fiance, the end of August via Match.com. We met in person for the first time on her 37th birthday, September 16, 2011 and became an "official" couple on Sept 30, 2011.

She matched Liz's description perfectly. Even the hip issue, which she "somtimes" has due to NF.

Jennifer is IN LOVE with me. I am IN LOVE with Jennifer.

I am not fullfilling any other need in her life except being a loving partner and vice versa.

I did not (and do not) need someone to "take care" of me or "fill a void" or "play a role"......I simply need someone to be truly, madly, deeply IN LOVE with me, and guess what? Jennifer is.

She treats me like a queen. I treat her like a queen.

I am her priority. I am her best friend. Our chemistry is off the charts, hot.

She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She is extremely loyal and committed and such a beautiful person, inside and out.

I once thought I saw LOVE in someone's eyes, but I now realize what I most likely saw was NEED in that person's eye's. I was "loved" while I was "needed" and then discareded when I no longer served a purpose.

When I look at Jen, or feel her gaze from afar, I FEEL HER LOVE. Her love for me SHINES from her eyes. Her smile. The way she says, "I love you." --- I can SEE it in her eyes. I can HEAR it in her voice.

This is honesty.

What a breath of fresh air.

THIS is true love.

Love that has YOUR best interest at heart.

Jen came into my life at a crazy time. I was still healing not only from a painfully cruel breakup, but also painfully cruel treatment from my ex throughout the summer.

She didn't care.



She told me that she "wasn't going anywhere".........she was with me during the healing process.

She witnessed the harassing emails and false accusations. She saw the hurt in my eyes and complete shock and dissapointment.

She also saw me grow stronger each day, until, I could finally say I am over that painful situation and talk fondly of my ex. She was with me through all of that.

I knew Jennifer Walsh was the woman the universe intended me to marry by the end of October.

I just had to buy a ring and come up with a romantic spot to "pop the question"........the universe still working hard for me, led me to HOTEL DE GLACE (The Ice Hotel) in Quebec, Canada. As luck would have it I was able to set up a review for my blog, Gay Travel Information. The kind woman, Sarah, reserved one of their SUITES for me the Sunday before Valentine's Day, February 12th.

Could this be any more perfect, I thought?

Hotel De Glace, although ARCTIC COLD, was surreal....beautiful......magical......and provided memories to last a lifetime.

I THANK GOD....THE UNIVERSE....for allowing me the opportunity to experience some a MAGICAL place and having Jennifer Walsh by my side.

I waited until we were in our suite and asked Jennifer if she would become my wife.

Her eyes said yes even louder than her heartfelt, emotional yes in the silence of our room.

Jennifer Walsh is my fiance.

I am a lucky, lucky woman.

As of now it looks as if the date is going to be Sunday, December 30th. A nighttime ceremony.

What a difference 8 months make. I would've never thought I would've been proposing to this amazing woman, in an ICE HOTEL in Quebec, Canada the weekend before Valentine's Day. Never thought.

Karma is a beautiful thing.

Some of my favorite quotes have always been:

"Never make someone your priority while remaining their option."

and...

"I love her because she smiles at me and means it."

Wow.

Wow.

Oh, and by the way.....my holidays were amazing.

Each and every one of them.

In Love with a Jennifer

This Happy Song makes me think of my beautiful, sweet Jennifer.


Gonna be an exciting month..... XOXOXO