Honesty

What a beautiful, romantic, gorgeous, Saturday night. I am watching the season's first fallen snow outside my window and....I....am.....painfully....lonely.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs how lonely I am. How I am craving attention and romance.

I have so much love to give and boy, do I give it. Is there anything wrong with wanting and needing this in return?

Thank God for the written word. How therapeutic it is. Most likely not a soul will read this tonight, yet, in writing this, I feel like I am having a conversation with someone. How I am craving a real, true, conversation.

I am 33 years old. All of my friends are either married or in serious relationships and most likely with their family or kids tonight. I want that. I don't want to feel this way.

I am so tired of being alone. Tired of having so much INSIDE I want and need to let out....to express.

I shouldn't be alone tonight. I should be in someone's arms, feeling like the most important thing on the planet. Like my wants and needs matter because that is what I give and because that person loves me as much as I them.

I wish I could put forth the pain I am feeling inside at this moment. The loneliness. The emptiness. The need for connection.

Yes, thank God for the written word.